writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
DVJLabonte
Darrell Labonte
Canada, Ontario, St. Catharines

Words: 649
Access: Public
Comments: 3

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




A World Forgotten

A shadow drifted across her face and in the darkness you could see the innocent girl who lived beneath a miserable exterior. Her hair flowed in dirty ringlets of chestnut brown framing her tear streaked cheeks. Her deep-set eyes held the color of the coming night sky, deep indigo more purple than blue; her eye color nearly matched the bruised colors under her eyes. Her name was Ayn Danes, a girl who knew nothing of her place in the world.

She stood beside an ancient tree that had grown itself into a strange shape. Its mangled limbs stretched out above her head and the wreckage of a world scattered at her feet. This world wasn't always so desolate; she wasn't always so alone. In this little corner of her dwindling world, everything came to a stand still.

Her hand moved along the rough texture of the tree's trunk as she deeply sighed. She couldn't understand what had happened. She remembered the green park that was here once - now the only green thing in sight was a discarded wine bottle hiding among the rubble. A single tear formed in the crook of her right eye as she started to walk slowly through the maze of destruction.

She sidestepped a cracked tombstone. It was so out of place it made her shout when she saw what she nearly stepped on - all that it read was R.I.P. To her right was a shattered porcelain doll's face with one eye staring at her unblinking. Terror struck her. The tears that were so ready to fall had been forgotten in fear. Ayn's slender frame shook and she hugged herself as if to keep herself warm.

This had been one of her favorite places in the world only a few days ago. There was a swing set here, a big one. She would imagine that by swinging on it she could touch the sky. That swing set was now a crumpled heap of metal with a swing still dangling on only one chain.

She walked without looking around herself, frightened of what else she might see. She knew that something very bad had happened, something like a nightmare, but far more real. She wondered where her mom and dad were, and little baby Kalie. She knew if she went home that no one would be there, there was no one there this morning when she woke up.

The tears that had receded in fear finally snuck up on her and she began to cry. She missed her family; she missed her park and her swing set - she missed the life she had only yesterday. What happened to the world that she lived in? Why did it have to happen to her? She questioned everything as she walked through the decimated park and found no answers.

Her frail little body moved on slowly. She weaved her way through the scores of broken bottles and crumpled cans to the park gates where on the streets there were cars. Each car looked like an animal ready to pounce on her, their darkened headlights looked ready to flip on at any moment and then the car would run her over. That didn't happen though, most of the cars wouldn't have been able to move due to flat tires, or worse, some look like they exploded.

The pain that she was feeling was unknown to her. The fear, too, was unknown but at least fear wasn't as confusing as the pain. She could understand why she was afraid – she was all alone. She began to run down the street, along the yellow line. She knew that people lost their minds in the world, and she thought she must have lost hers. Ayn ran till she couldn't run anymore. There was nothing left to run from.

Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
sarra Comment by: sarra - 2007-11-10 08:26
Add to Readers
      
I'm taking this as somehow she was transported from an earlier time in the past and was sent to the future for some odd reason - or she somehow survived the end of the world.

(And yet maybe this is stemming from the fate writing I just commented on. ;) )

All in all, I liked this and fully agree that this should definitely be made into a longer tale. I'd like to know the 5 W's that we were only given teasers of.
lluuiiissaa Comment by: lluuiiissaa - 2007-11-01 19:18
Add to Readers
      
you have a real talent for description, i could see the place perfectly in my head. it is captivating and now i wonder the background of how this all happened. great job!
lucy Comment by: lucy - 2007-11-01 04:41
Add to Readers
      
The story itself is mesmerizing, it would be a great beginning to a movie script... eh.

Visual. Would the line on the road still be yellow in that destruction?
1

Sponsored Ads


By DVJLabonte

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S