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What Happens When A Heart Breaks?
I watch nonchalantly as he slowly falls apart
slowly descending
apprehending
the pieces drifting from his heart
I shout “Don’t look backwards my son!” to see
your mommy’s
self debris
Be strong my little one, stronger than me
We see the object meant for love
give or take
pushing tough but,
what happens when a heart breaks?
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| Thanks for the explanation, Shad. Just confirms my feeling that our best work is that which springs from our deeper emotions. Again, congrats on a very effective poem. Hope you write more of the same. Blessings, and Ty will be in my prayers. |
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Hi Mark, Thank you for commenting hon. The poem is about my 11 year old son Ty who in two weeks is having open heart surgery. He has a Double VSD with prolapse.
I've been back in forth, in a haze as he has been also and we've discussed that fact that we will break down eventually, once more, a broken heart.....
Thanks once again for commenting *^_^*
All the Best, Shad @)~>~ |
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This seems to be one of your better pieces, Shad. The second stanza especially contains an unforced rhyming pattern. I like "mommy's self debris"--good expression there.
Having some trouble imagining the scene that brought this image about, especially with the "nonchalantly" in stanza one coupled with the shouting in stanza two.
Also the "object" in stanza three is a mystery and could be hinted at more strongly to make it less of an enigma.
Overall a convincing write.
Blessings.
Mark A |
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