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There she was with that red shawl in the wind drawing me to creation … the tree of weeping purple dropping its flowers in the mist.. oh how it s killing me softly...
You look like a goddess to me, as you move me like a woman should, its not hard with the wind is it…
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Very nice. I like your form and your spare verbiage.
Perhaps you should start "There she is ..." instead of "There she was ..." The rest of your poem could pass for present tense, and if that third word were present tense, the poem would be much more immediate.
