DALLAS COWBOYS ON BYE-WEEK,
NETWORKS DECIDED TO BROADCAST OTHER GAMES ANYWAY

Today the NFL and the major television networks released a statement that even though the Dallas Cowboys had a bye-week, they still tried to provide televised football games for the home viewing audience.

“We were kind of caught off guard. We knew other teams had a prescheduled break during the season but it never occurred to us Dallas did too. From a TV programming point of view that would mean a weekend we couldn’t highlight the Cowboys,” said NFL/FOX liaison Chad Binkley. “We toyed with figure skating. That’s a major standby. But in the 11th hour we said what the heck and gambled. It’s what Tony Romo would have done.”

Not all agreed with the move. Dan Fritzman from CBS promotions countered “My argument was who wants to watch football without Romo or T.O.? Is there football without them? Name even two more NFL players. I bet you can’t!”

The original CBS alternative was to run an eight hour retrospective on Tony Romo’s 16 game career and fill in the holes with Cowboys related commercials ranging from ancient Dandy Don Lipton Ice Tea spots all the way to that cute one about Jerry Jones taking over for the Dallas coach who calls a play with his mouth full.

But in the end top sports producers decided to shift focus towards a few other games that might need the publicity blitz. The NFL suggested that teams like the New York Giants, the New York Jets and the New York Giants might benefit from extra exposure.

“The more we dug around the league, the more we discovered more teams actually existed. I mean we always figured the Cowboys played somebody in the games we broadcast but for the first time it suddenly all made sense.”

“Holy Tony!” Fritzman joined in. “There’s a team in Indianapolis that are like 7-0, man. Says here they even won a Superbowl or something! We could cover them!”

The NFL and the networks said while they are pleased knowing how to deal with this problem next year, they are extremely happy the Cowboys return will give pre-game shows something to spotlight next week.

“We made it but to be honest, our highlight reels went from War and Peace to half a haiku.”

***
In a related story, the Cowboy’s bye week allowed league management to take time off from the game and concentrate on pressing matters.

“It has come to our attention in a recent game, Tony Romo threw 5 interceptions.” Johnny Snapple, head of the NFL rules committee shared. “Last year when he dropped a key snap during a crucial playoff game, we discovered the problem was not Romo’s tiny baby hands. It was the football itself. It must have been the football…so it only makes sense the football would also be to blame for Tony’s horrible day passing.”

The league will be testing several new balls in the off season. One will be electrified until Cowboy coaches are sure a Dallas receiver can catch it. Another ball will produce thin metal spikes in mid air that retract when it picks up T.O.’s cologne.

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Other Top Stories- John Madden’ Tribute to Brett Favre “He’s like an older Tony Romo!”…Last year’s Indianapolis Colts ‘Trophy aside, were they REALLY better than Dallas?’…Tom Brady on pace to break Romo’s single season TD record…An NFL writer’s worst nightmare ‘I’ve now gone 13 words without mentioning the Cowboys.’…Local leper colony completely cured “Thank you, Tony Romo!”

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