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Shining Light
Shining Light
In the rush hour maze of traffic,
The cars weaved in and out.
A Dodge minivan carried a family
Along its routine route.
The father drove with caution
While the mother read a book.
The oldest donned her headphones.
Out the window the youngest looked.
Their day was very ordinary
With a schedule marked and planned.
Later they’d go shopping
To buy what life demands.
But as they drove along,
They saw a vehicle up ahead.
It merged into traffic,
And down the road it sped.
An old Toyota truck,
All rusted from powder blue,
Contained a solitary man,
Drinking a Mountain Dew.
He had nowhere to go
Besides the open road.
His truck with the fish upon its back,
Carting a heavy load.
All he had was Jesus
And his rusty, well-worn truck,
And deep within his pockets,
A measly twenty bucks.
But little did the family know
Of his struggles day and night.
They only saw the emblem
Of a Christian’s shining light.
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Another good one. May I make a couple of suggestions? First, Dodge may be a personal reference, but doesn't add to the poem and disrupts the flow. I think if you drop that, it would be better. Second, you wrote:
"Their day was very ordinary
With a schedule marked and planned."
The second line of this is out of rhythm and could easily be fixed with:
"Their day was very ordinary,
with schedule marked and planned."
There are a couple of other things, but I think if you read it aloud, you'll pick up on them easily. Nice work, Janet |
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