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The Cup
The Cup
I
The cup is filled to the brim with water,
cool and refreshingly pure,
offered to one who is weary and thirsty.
II
Water flows from the cup
over the cultivated earth,
nurturing the soil,
rejuvenating the seeds,
springing growth up from the ground.
III
Stained with frequent use,
a companion through a morning routine,
the cup endures another day’s work.
IV
In playful exuberance,
the child moves his arms about;
the cup teeters, then tumbles,
a white river running over the table top.
V
Passed from hand to hand,
twelve partake of the cup,
and churches far and wide
remember One whose blood flowed
from the Cup of Life.
VI
My cup overflows with blessings
for others, that they may serve
from the everlasting source,
a cup overflowing with eternity.
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Comment by: Kav - 2008-07-09 06:17
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A very simple but powerful poem that is written so beautifully. I particular like the flow and style to this piece.
I really loved the last stanza, i felt it just jumped right out at me
Thanks for the read
Kavita |
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| I like this piece very much. Poetry is personal; this is a personal expression of many things--all relating to a cup in some way. Some may not understand the spiritual significance because they haven't experienced that kind of overflowing blessing yet. Thanks for sharing. It's a beauty. There's a frequent contest in Canada with real money to be had for poems with spiritual content. I'll see if I can find the web address and send it to you. Janet |
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An interesting series of images/scenes; stately, considered and appropriate diction. The fourth strophe is an arresting scene -- because it is familiar, carries the theme of nourishment, human accident, innocence, the domestic, the (milk giving) mother -- and would, in fact, be an effective opening, which, I do realise, would completely interrupt the narrative/thematic progression of this particular piece. I'd very much be interested to see the fourth strophe as an opening, however: would you do this? Write another poem, on the same theme, but with this opening? It would have to constitute a completely new piece. That would be a fantastic experiment. And hopefully fruitful.
Only negative criticism: Is there a real conclusion, in any sense, to this piece? '[...] overflowing with eternity' is a notably weak phrase compared to your more sophisticated use of structure and language in the rest of the poem. It feels replete of (surface) imagery, but empty of the poet's thought.
I hope you find this helpful, or, at least, can enjoy my praise.
I enjoyed your poem, thanks very much for posting :) |
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Comment by: - 2007-10-30 14:38
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Interesting, but you kind of lost it at the fourth stanza. I mean the word 'exuberance', kind of stops the flows and in my opinion, and a word like that seen next to 'playful' and near 'child'...? Yeah...
Plus, when you brought religion into this, it just lost it's innocent, child-like feel. It went from being a poem about something we see but ignore everyday, to... Well I honestly don't know what it went to... It was fine up 'til the fourth stanza in my opinion. |
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