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karjon
Karen Jones
United Kingdom, Glasgow

My Bookshop
Words: 62
Access: Public
Comments: 16

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The Smell of Fear

I watch. I wait. I anticipate.

I’ll let you undress, slip under the covers, ease into repose, then I’ll tap at the window. The smell of your fear will arouse my passions and fuel my strength. Your eyes will widen, your breath quicken in your chest, your screams stay silenced by terror.

But for now, I wait.

Night-night, little one.

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My Bookshop

Comments  
DavidHe Comment by: DavidHe - 2008-08-17 06:50
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This is a third time I have read this story! But I am sorry to say you have never read my stories. How I wish you could read my stories and comment on them so that I can learn more from you. Best wishes.
karjon Comment by: karjon - 2007-12-18 16:46
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Thanks Digby.

The title - it's a Wee Challenge story, so set title, set word count. In my mind, the window is open - but I can't expect my readers to be mind-readers, eh? It's that sixty word constriction - serves me right for setting that limit.

Thanks for stopping by and reading.

Cheers

Karen
digs Comment by: digs - 2007-12-18 13:28
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Karen

Seriously creepy, this. On the question of whether the fear could be smelled issue, I understood that at that point in the anticipated events the ‘little one’ would be at the window. Was that your intention? The title’s a bit uninspiring, I thought. In very short pieces like this, the title can be a really powerful part of the story, don’t you think?

Title apart, the writing’s very good.

Digby
karjon Comment by: karjon - 2007-12-14 18:01
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Hi David

Thanks for coming back to this.

Like I keep telling you - there's no secret formula. You just have to try it, then practice, practice, practice. Best way to do that is to read the Wee Challenges already poted by numerous authors on this site - you'll soon see what works and what doesn't - then join in the Wee Challenges. Kowalski is running the 21st Wee Challengw right now - you'll find it in the forums.

Greta - apologies for missing your comment. Yeah, that's really smelly fear, eh?

Cheers

Karen
DavidHe Comment by: DavidHe - 2007-12-14 17:55
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A second time I have read it! Good! But could you please tell me how to immitate this style?
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Bookshop

"Wonderful World of Worders"

by Karen Jones



A collection of micro-fiction by 72 writers, from 27 countries, compiled by Jenni Doherty, published by Guildhall Press with support from the Arts Council of Northern Ireland.

Wonderful World of Worders

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By karjon

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