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...
Drum beats and the days go on in years and years until all six are gone and you're on your way to the western lands that held my hand and golden brow just long enough to learn there's no reason to go back. no call to arm such errant troubles.
Prickly wombs and mending trees.
Some shores belong to the bearded young. some to the concrete rent that makes us monsters. fakers. tired eyed destinies hallowed the red palm of my hand and the clouds come to kiss off the stumbling ides of summertime.
Who would drink the blood of fortune. level sutured arms in a kiss.
Razed mountain men. women. children dyed in avenues laughing the sirens calling come home again.
Still proud. still terrified. waving at the window wishing goodnight, friend.
Goodnight.
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Comment by: Apollo - 2007-11-15 14:57
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First off, I thoroughly enjoyed your comment on my poem "Bourbon at 4 AM" stunning use of vocabulary and imagery...
Secondly I like your title "..." it is intriguing, your poem reeks of that hardened city, almost jaded, not so sure of anything but alright with life attitude. I'm wondering whether the "children are dyed" or "have died," but that aside from that the "prickly wombs" and "errant troubles" had me hooked. I'm at an opposing window in time and space waving back to you... goodnight friend. |
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Comment by: AMorgan - 2007-11-05 02:48
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I hate it to say it, but I'm really not sure what this one is about, although it raises a lot of interesting, compelling imagery. I really like the line "the clouds come to kiss off the stumbling ides of summertime." It's an absolutely beautiful moment in the poem.
I also like your style. I find it difficult to let my poems flow and tend to break up the lines shortly. If you could lend me any idea about what this about I'd love to re-read it again and again (also: the title...makes me scratch my chin).
One more thing: I wrote a huge long comment to another one of your poems about two days ago, shortly after you left me a comment (thanks by the way- I appreciate the thorough feedback). But I just have wireless so my internet shut down and didn't save it :( I was extremely frustrated so just forgot about the whole internet thing for the night--- just thought I'd let ya know :) |
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