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Poisoned Chalice
His grey robe merged with the shadows; his cowl covered his white face. Father Fidelis frowned at his sexual pleasure in the anticipation. Perhaps appropriate penance was in order, but later.
At the altar, the abbot chanted:
“Hic est enim calix sanguinis mei, novi et aeterni testamenti: mysterium fidei: qui pro vobis et pro multis effundetur in remissionem peccatorum.”
Like the Great Om of Tibetan lamas, the “um” filled the church, calling down the mystery of transubstantiation, as it had countless times before.
Father Fidelis leaned forward, mouth open, barely restraining his panting. Just minutes, maybe even seconds, now...
“Sanguis Domini nostri Jesu Christi custodiat animam meam in vitam aeternam. Amen.”
The chapel echoed with the last syllable, taking its own sweet time in dying, unlike the celebrant.
“Amen, old friend,” Father Fidelis whispered, as he made his way to the small door. One more candidate out of the way…
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lol..
this ones all show.. nice.
this is good work. entertaining and vivid.. fun to read.
its all moving pictures.
Father Fidelis frowned at his sexual pleasure in the anticipation.
//found that sentence a little awkward.
thanks
T |
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Comment by: waxseal - 2007-11-09 10:53
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| Okay - I'm not goign to lie. I laughed when I say the title and I'm left puzzled. It is just not you. I think this story in a much longer setting would have been more your speed - but this little blip just comes off cliche and flat. The latin and the sex doesn't really help it. I really like the idea, but in so short a space your best writing skills didn't come forth. I hate it, but I really like your other writing. I'm sorry. |
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Comment by: karjon - 2007-11-08 04:54
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Love the name you chose for the murderer. I take it he poisoned the communion wine?
The candidate for what particular position, I wondered? What's the next step after Abbot? My knowledge of the hierarchy of monkdom (I just made that word up, didn't I?) is sparse, to say the least.
It did make be think of Pope John-Paul the First (especailly since I've read In God's Name) as they never did work out how he 'died of natural causes'.
Good one, Peter - read it through twice, enjoyed it both times.
Cheers
Karen |
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Comment by: Nora Online- 2007-11-07 11:33
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| Ah. The italics make a big difference, Peter. Nice. |
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Thank you, Bill, Becky - glad you enjoyed.
Becky: the story came out as set in a Monastery, but, after I uploaded, it dawned on me that I could have been dealing with either the Borgias/Medicis or with more modern times with John-Paul the First (pope from Sep 1 to Sept 28, 1978), rather than some abbot of no note. Of course, then the story would have been much longer.... :-) |
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