writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
ThePenguin
Peter Budvietas
Online
New Zealand, Auckland

My Bookshop
Words: 150
Access: Public
Comments: 10

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Poisoned Chalice

His grey robe merged with the shadows; his cowl covered his white face. Father Fidelis frowned at his sexual pleasure in the anticipation. Perhaps appropriate penance was in order, but later.

At the altar, the abbot chanted:

Hic est enim calix sanguinis mei, novi et aeterni testamenti: mysterium fidei: qui pro vobis et pro multis effundetur in remissionem peccatorum.

Like the Great Om of Tibetan lamas, the “um” filled the church, calling down the mystery of transubstantiation, as it had countless times before.

Father Fidelis leaned forward, mouth open, barely restraining his panting. Just minutes, maybe even seconds, now...

Sanguis Domini nostri Jesu Christi custodiat animam meam in vitam aeternam. Amen.

The chapel echoed with the last syllable, taking its own sweet time in dying, unlike the celebrant.

“Amen, old friend,” Father Fidelis whispered, as he made his way to the small door. One more candidate out of the way…

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]


My Bookshop

Comments  
Boonrassi Comment by: Boonrassi - 2008-03-02 21:34
Add to Readers
      
lol..
this ones all show.. nice.
this is good work. entertaining and vivid.. fun to read.
its all moving pictures.

Father Fidelis frowned at his sexual pleasure in the anticipation.

//found that sentence a little awkward.
thanks
T
waxseal Comment by: waxseal - 2007-11-09 10:53
Add to Readers
      
Okay - I'm not goign to lie. I laughed when I say the title and I'm left puzzled. It is just not you. I think this story in a much longer setting would have been more your speed - but this little blip just comes off cliche and flat. The latin and the sex doesn't really help it. I really like the idea, but in so short a space your best writing skills didn't come forth. I hate it, but I really like your other writing. I'm sorry.
karjon Comment by: karjon - 2007-11-08 04:54
Add to Readers
      
Love the name you chose for the murderer. I take it he poisoned the communion wine?

The candidate for what particular position, I wondered? What's the next step after Abbot? My knowledge of the hierarchy of monkdom (I just made that word up, didn't I?) is sparse, to say the least.

It did make be think of Pope John-Paul the First (especailly since I've read In God's Name) as they never did work out how he 'died of natural causes'.

Good one, Peter - read it through twice, enjoyed it both times.

Cheers

Karen
Nora Comment by: Nora Online- 2007-11-07 11:33
Add to Readers
      
Ah. The italics make a big difference, Peter. Nice.
ThePenguin Comment by: ThePenguin Online- 2007-11-04 19:17
Add to Readers
      
Thank you, Bill, Becky - glad you enjoyed.

Becky: the story came out as set in a Monastery, but, after I uploaded, it dawned on me that I could have been dealing with either the Borgias/Medicis or with more modern times with John-Paul the First (pope from Sep 1 to Sept 28, 1978), rather than some abbot of no note. Of course, then the story would have been much longer.... :-)
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


By ThePenguin

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S