I hate lines. Of course they have their purpose. There are lines no one should cross, color outside of, or otherwise break through. The worst of them are the thin ones submerged in gray. So obscure, sometimes you doubt its existence. But it is there. One day, someone will come along and point it out, glorifying in their discovery of your ignorance. Or oversight. Or stubborn refusal to admit that it existed at all.

There is a thin line between a lot of things. Genius and insanity. Good and bad. Right and wrong. Need and greed. There's a good one.

Someone pointed out that generosity is preyed upon. It attracts the greedy and unambitious. Like a swarm of moths to the slightest flame, they come forth to siphon away the warmth and hoard the meager light for themselves. Is it true. Of course it is. Look at the welfare system as it stands now. Misused and abused to sickening ends.

Even knowing that, accepting that fact in its entirety, I cannot bring myself to cast off a giving nature. Drawing once again on welfare. Does it bother me that my money is paying for baby factories that pop out children just to collect a bigger check each month? It's disgusting, sickening and angers me to no end. But I'll deal with it. I'll deal with it because somewhere, there are people that are truly desperate for help. There are children who barely eat enough to survive. Who have no health coverage at all. Not across the ocean, in a distant land. Here in the glorious United States of America.

Did you know that child poverty is more widespread in the United States than in any other industrialized country; at the same time, the U.S. government spends less than any industrialized country to pull its children out of poverty. How about the fact the of the 35 million people (12 million of which are children) that go hungry in the US each day, 1/3 are currently employed and over 2/3 have unemployment gaps of less than 3 months. I find that all incredibly sad.

Sorry. Tangent. Back on track now. Why I'll deal with with it: Because, if it means one little kid can make it through tomorrow without wondering if there will be anything to eat, I'll forgive all the assholes in the country that take advantage of our slipshod government care system.

Everyone deserves two things in life: love and a chance. Unfortunately for some the first is lacking and the later is completely out of reach. I also believe the two are intrinsically linked. Sometimes, all a person needs is a leg up. A gesture of good faith from a single person. Not because they expect something in return, but because they can. Not to say generosity is altruistic. I, for one, like helping people. I like giving to others. It makes me feel good about myself and there are bloody few things out there that can do that anymore.

You know the worst thing about being broke? Outside of the fact that it is entirely my fault that is. It's not being able to help my family or friends or anyone else. To lend or buy or give. It depresses me. As materialistic as I am (and I am) the inability to assist hurts worse than the inability to attain.

Of course there is more than the monetary to consider. There is the generosity of the soul. Another aspect that we as a nation (hell, as a species) are lacking in. It usually works two ways. Either we stand on our pedestal, stamping on the fingers of those trying to reach our position, or we linger below, grasping at the heels of those striving to move beyond us. It is human instinct to dominate. To control and to be covetous. As the reigning societal species, one would hope that we would be able to supersede base instinct. At least on a daily basis. I guess it's a trivial desire. Hell, even I fail in that respect. Just not as often as others.

I think it's a matter of love. Love thy neighbor as thyself? Not likely. Not as thyself or thy family or even thy friends. Maybe as thy boss, but definitely not as thy dog. Love is a bit taboo nowadays. It's also passed around like a well greased whore. Used for a while and then completely forgotten. Quite the paradox. In either case, it is a virtue that has been relegated to “as needed” status. I guess the problem is all in the definition. People relate love to spouses, mom, dad and the kids. Love is romantic or familial. Very true. But it is so much more.

Love is compassion and caring. Not just for those you know, but for all people. It is trying to understand someone, even if you can't agree with them. It is respecting their faith, even when you don't believe in it. It is forgiving them, even if you're not sure they deserve it. It is never forgetting them, even if they never knew you.

Here's a quote for you: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his enemies.”

Lame as it sounds, the last year has taught me one thing about myself: I love everyone. In some infinitesimal way, I can find enough compassion, caring, respect and understanding for each person I come across to qualify for my own kind of love. Of course there are those in which that feeling is augmented: my family and friends and the random, often oblivious, people I adopt into my heart. It's a stronger emotion because I have an influence in their lives, sometimes large and other times rather insignificant. But in some way I directly affect them. That's a heady realization. It's not connection I take lightly.

In many ways love is more precious than money. The greedy often desire it as much, if not more. It is most often coveted, hoarded. Never given freely, but bartered for and traded with. The irony is painful. Shameful. That something which can be created at will, that is as finite as your own heart allows, could be turned into a commodity and sold off to the highest bidder.

Here too do the poor suffer. Perhaps not with a hunger in their stomachs, but with one that gnaws at their soul. Naive as it is, I believe that if everyone in the world knew that someone somewhere loved them, this place we live in would be much better off. Stupid, I know. But I would rather live in my own stupid world than any other.

There's another thin line: Hopeful and Hopeless. Perhaps I blew right through that one Perhaps not. One way or the other I'll go on.



~ "Help those you can as often as you can. If you cannot help them, hear them. Support them. Let them know that you will always be behind them. Let them know that you will always love them."

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