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Thunderpen
Parris ja Young
United States, Montana, Laughing Lady

Words: 269
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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OUT OF THE FOREST

Loneliness makes me weak.
Solitude makes me strong.
I have no choice but to use the night
to explore my own heart.

I am alone in the cabin, a mile
from the country county road,
and the deep snow absorbs sound
while reflecting the silent silver moon.

I am under a kerosene lamp
and there is no phone to startle me.
Even the coyotes, parcel of the cold and night
have quit their wizard soliloquy.

The popping of the tamarack in the stove
is my companion, and through the glass door
it's light goes dancing to the walls.
My pen makes notes of my stumbling

search through myself. I wrack my mind;
I ache for revelation; my heart begs
for understanding. I am on the Edge.
Do souls sweat?

My ears poised keen detect the subtle
wreaking rumble of boots in snow,
a single line, valley wide, advancing
up-river through the tranquil cold.

In mind's eye I see combat boots crushing
trackless snow, kicking up loose curds.
Approaching. Closer. Now out of the forest
and over my cabin. Thundering

upon the roof. My little shelter shakes.
I dart under the big beam, afraid
the house will fall even while recognizing
the source of this sudden eruption.

It is the trees. A conspiracy of mixed forest.
In a traveling wave spread the valley wide,
they shake off snow from branch and clump
limb and twig, needle and bough.

They make an army of the empty air,
this passing, rolling rake of wind,
to free the trees of the heavy snow --
they came, they shook, and then gone again.


07.11.02
Westwind

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Comments  
mitra Comment by: mitra - 2008-01-26 00:43
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You took us there with you. Descriptions nicely done.
ThiaHarrington Comment by: ThiaHarrington - 2007-11-07 14:21
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Beautiful write. I could feel myself in the cabin in the middle of nowhere and found myself feeling tense at the idea of something interrupting the tranquility. The only thing that caught me was silent silver and shelter shakes. I don't know, maybe it's the whole avoid alliteration always thing, or me just being high maintenance. Otherwise, you've created some remarkable imagery here, and if this is where you live I must be jealous of you now.
PANDORA Comment by: PANDORA Online- 2007-11-03 16:43
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This was a very peaceful and tranquil read for me. You described the scenes so well... and if this makes any sense you do this with very soothing words.

This is one of those pieces that you can picture while you are reading it.
I love a visual poem.

Only suggestion:


'and there is no phone to startle me."
--the word "startle" kind of shook the calm feeling.

maybe

"and there is no phone to connect to chaos"


---Do souls sweat?-- This was a great line!

Hope the suggestion helps.

Sheri**
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