 |
 |
 |
| |
Limit of Love
I look at your withered body and cringe at the smell of your slack-mouthed snores. You’re the malignant tumor in my head. Took 30 years to cut you from me, without anesthetic until I crawled into your bourbon. It’s the one thing we shared, alone.
The glow of your inner ugliness shines through your translucent skin like a dirty lampshade. The symmetrical features, the full lips, the well-placed fat that inflamed men - all of it melts like grease, trickling out of tubes into bags and canisters. You were always a receptacle of human juices, now you’re giving it all back and more. Does it feel more blessed to give than to receive? Who cares: it all gets drained and dumped in the garbage, one way or another.
People say you can’t love something too much. I wouldn't know. You only taught me the lower limit of love.
Nothing.
Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
Loved it. So much hate just oozing out of each word. But I feel that the protagonist's hate has become a way of life for him, like a habit. As you said,"Took 30 years to cut you from me" There is this air of calmness about it, like he has accepted that it's there and it doesnt cause him any worries now.
Graet write and thanks for the read. |
|
|
| Oh I love it! I'm inspired to put up some of my hate filled stories now. :P |
 |
Comment by: sarra - 2007-11-11 22:30
|
|
Can we say 'I hate my mate' and mean it? This was wow... just amazing. And I must say my favorite line was 'The glow of your inner ugliness shines through your translucent skin like a dirty lampshade'.
Impressive image that brought to mind, to say the least! I liked this version a lot. You seem a great writer. I look forward to reading more of your stuff on here. |
 |
Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-11-08 07:46
|
|
Oh, I love a good hate story - and this is a good hate story.
Bitterness drips from every word, loathing from every line - great stuff.
Cheers
Karen |
|
|
sounds like a wife or something =S but well written, I can feel hate oozing out of every sentence. I liked this sentence, "You were always a receptacle of human juices", it was quite humorous.
"You’re the malignant tumor in my head. Took 30 years to cut you from me, without anesthetic until I crawled into your bourbon" made it almost sound like the protagonist is a schizo. I like that this text is very free for interpretation!
As for "The symmetrical features, the full lips, the well-placed fat that inflamed men " -- it kind of ruins the flow by using "the" one too many times, perhaps?
Anyways, thanks for the read. |
| 1 2 3 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
