This is one for the people who wondered what led up to “Glory” and “Glory pt.2”, and those who wondered of the mysterious Shan (who is, in fact, a girl). This was written before the Glories and precedes them by a fair distance in story. This explains the trip that was ended with the accident.
And just so I don’t ruin the flow of this by editing, you should know that Dimitri is Shan’s boyfriend and Ulric is just a really good friend of them all…
Warning, it isnt the best of my writings and is more informative than anything, just to answer questions.

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Jared’s fingers gripped the edge of the bed as he sat down, the mattress springs straining under his weight. It had been three weeks and a day since the last time he and Angel had shared words of kindness, and over a week since she had slapped him in the face, literally. The last few days went past in a haze and no matter how many times he told himself that he had to get over her and move on he was finding it more and more difficult not to go crawling back to her. The reason he didn’t was because she had made it very clear that she didn’t need him, nor did she want him in her life. Every now and again since that night her words echoed in his head, reminding him that he didn’t deserve to smile.

It was Saturday the 31st, All Hallows Eve, and the eve of Shan’s birthday. The day before the little one cornered him and forced a piece of paper into his hands with a hurried explanation. Angel had received an invitation to some family wedding, and was using it as an excuse to escape the boarding school, and she was taking Shan with her. The paper had two addresses and two telephone numbers; one for an aunt that they were staying with in London (as far as Jared picked up on) and another of a hotel, which Shan offered no explanation for. She had told him that if he ever wanted Angel back that he had to do it that weekend, because Angel had made it clear that she was getting away from the school to make sure she forgot about him.

A few days before that Jared and Shan had one of their infamous late nights during which the topic of conversation was, shockingly, Angel. Shan had told him how she had sunk even lower. She started to eat, but not much more than before, and she was coming out of her shell. It was this that worried Shan the most. Angel had become rebellious to say the least. She was ditching homework, giving as good as she got in football practice and became plain careless. Her new ‘whatever’ attitude was throwing Shan’s friendship with her for a loop, and Shan doubted that others had much more patience for her either. This news irritated Jared more than anything, and he told himself that he didn’t care.

What a lie.

On the Friday the girls disappeared without a word of goodbye, and Jared gave his garbled information to Dimitri and Ulric, and didn’t wait around to gauge their reaction, but took off to the library instead. He knew that Dimitri at least would be irked that Shan left without talking to him and was going to miss the majority of her birthday with him by being on some wild ‘soul searching’ trip in London. Jared spent the entire evening in the library doing homework and then pretending that the worry he was feeling wasn’t real. The same worry that kept him from sleeping at all the entire night.

The Saturday was a different story. With the knowledge that the girls would be returning the night after, Jared decided to go into town early and see if he could find a birthday present for Shan. He offered for Dimitri to come with him, but he said he had things to do before leaving the school and he’d probably meet him later. Ulric too seemed preoccupied with his nose stuck in some book. So, he went to the village alone and spent at least an hour lost in his own thoughts before realising he had yet to enter a single shop. The only hint he had for where to start was the little trinket shop he had bought his sister’s birthday present from months before. The shop that Angel suggested. With a sigh he entered and was greeted by a warm smile from the middle aged woman who was there before. After five minutes, Jared realised that buying for Shan was a challenge. She couldn’t have anything fitted for a girl of her age, because she was hardly ‘average’ in size, she couldn’t have silver because she hated it, and his budget was that of anyone else his age who hadn’t planned ahead and actually saved to get something more expensive. In the end he bought a pewter (Shan hated yellow gold, white gold was something a lot more than friends should give and platinum was far out of his price range. Besides, the darkened metal was more Shan’s style… he hoped) armband torc that was almost without decoration apart from the pentagram woven in its centre. It touched on the ‘dark side’ of fashion, and that idea alone seemed perfect.

He had returned to the school soon after to find the others had taken leave of the common room. He stashed his purchase up in the drawer of his dresser in the dorm before coming back down stairs. He didn’t really expect anyone to be there, but had hoped so. He didn’t feel like spending another evening alone with his cruel thoughts. He waited for half an hour but no one showed up. It was as though the world had gone to sleep and not told him. Pretty soon he decided that he wasn’t going to spend another night not sleeping and trying to get over Angel by himself, and so took off for his only escape…

When he arrived on the top floor of the rowdy building he was greeted by a large clap on the back from a complete stranger, completely intoxicated, who challenged him to a fight. Jared, who was in no mood to ‘play’, simply gave the guy a sharp push on the shoulder and watched him as he tumbled to the floor, ignored by everyone else. Judging that it was better to avoid a fight if that was the standard for the night, Jared went to the bar and ordered a drink before falling into conversation with Jennifer, the leggy barmaid who had stolen his conversational attentions on more than one occasion. She had gathered that things had finally ended between Jared and his girl, and it was clear that he was in denial that it got to him. Feeling a well of pity bubbling inside her, Jennifer had told him to go into the back room, that she wanted to talk to him…



Jared leaned forward and buried his face in his hands, the bed squeaking as he moved. Jennifer was taking ages, and if she was going to be much longer he was going to go back out there for his thoughts were becoming deafening again. Finally the door opened and Jared lifted his head to see Jennifer close the door behind her and approach him. She stopped a few feet before him and squatted down so that she was almost at his eye level and caught his gaze with hers.

”You’re not over her, so I’m going to help you.”

Jared raised an eyebrow in genuine confusion but his questions were answered as Jennifer got to her feet and in one movement had pushed him onto his back on the bed and climbed on top of him. His stomach lurched as logic tried to fight through the panic as she lowered her body onto his. This is not good, he warned his thoughts… I want Angel not… this. But… Angel did’t want him, and she was hundreds of miles away probably doing the same thing you he was, or at least getting there...

Desperation set in, and all Jared wanted to do was to forget about the last few months of his life; forget that Angel had ever existed. So when Jennifer pressed a kiss to his lips he returned it, forcing every thought out of his mind as fast as he could. It had been three weeks since his mouth had met another, which was probably the longest time since puberty had kicked in, so he presumed that falling into animal instincts with Jennifer would be as easy as breathing. As she kissed him deeper he frowned against his conscience as it screamed over and over that this wasn’t Angel. That this wasn’t right. Determined to ignore it he dropped both hands to her waist… but instead of pulling her closer he pushed her off and to the side. He heard her sigh dramatically as he pushed himself up and buried his face in his hands again with a low growl. He had no idea what to do or think, but the one thing he was certain of was that he didn’t want to be here, doing what he was about to do. And he definitely wasn’t over Angel.

“I can’t do it. I have to see if there is anything left between us,” he mumbled thickly into his hands.

”Déjà vu,” Jennifer replied before getting to her feet and straightening her clothes and hair. ”Fine, run away again, you’re getting good at th-“

“I’m not running away… I’m running to her. I can’t just give up so easily…”

”I thought you already did. That is why you’re here…”

“Yes, which is why I wont be back again.”

”What if she rejects you again?”

“Then I have to move on, and being here only lets me vent, nothing more.” Jared took a deep breath as he got to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair. His heart was pounding in his chest as he thought about never returning to this place again, but that idea didn’t bother him at all. What was getting his blood pumping was the thought that he was going to find Angel and try to get her back even if it meant begging on his knees, for if she said ‘yes’ it would be worth it, and if she said ‘no’ he had nothing to feel ashamed for. Angel had become the biggest part of his life and he just had to let himself realise it.

Jennifer waved her arms in exasperation and left into the bar again, and Jared really didn’t care. From his back pocket he produced Shan’s note and scanned it. He had no idea where he was going, but he had to try, even if he was just about to walk into his own death.

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