What’s dat pal? Yeah youse can sit down on dis here bench. I mean I don’t own it or nothin’. Whaddu I look like da Manager of da’ Parks Department? What’s dat? Who’s it I’m talkin’ wid? I’m talkin’ wid Mr. Prendergasts dats who. I knows what youse is thinkin’- dat I’m just some crazy, homeless guy who’s talkin’ to a fig-a-ment of my imagination. Dats what everybody I run into thinks. But I tells youse what, since youse obviously ain’t doin’ nothin’ right now, lemme tell youse the story of me and Mr. Prendergasts and den youse can decide if youse thinks he’s real or not. I doubt youse will, don’t nobody does anyways.

First of all I ain’t always been like dis ya’ know. Used to be I was loaded with all kinds of dough. I had my own cycle-shop, I owed some real estate, I had me a fine lookin’ old lady and four boys (by her anyways). So OK, I was messin’ around wid some stuff dat wasn’t all on da up-and-up, but den again I had all dem mouths to feed. And I wasn’t one of dem spoiled rich kids dat was born wid a silver spoon stuck in his mouth. I was a self-made man. My old man took off on my ma before I was even born. I didn’t have nothin’ growin’ up. And lemme tell youse dat while most of da guys dat my mom was shackin’ up was real good at lumpin’ up me and my ma, none of dem assholes wasn’t good for nothin’ when it came time to pay da bills. I’m not bitchin’ about the way I was brung-up to get youse to feel sorry for me or nothin’, I’m just tellin’ youse how it was. Anyways now when I think about da way I was brung up, I think maybe it was like dat for a reason. Growin’ up dat way made me tough and only somebody tough could deal wid somebody like Mr. Prendergasts.

The first time I seen Mr. Prendergasts was a long time ago. I was out wid a bunch of my buddies and we was gettin’ good and hammered when I first seen him. He starts right in, yammerin’ all this crazy, nonsense talk to me. I thought dis was funnier than hell cause he’s dis school-teacher type dude who’s got on this crazy lookin’ blue suit; I mean we was in a pretty rough part of town for him to be wearing somethin’ like dat. I thought he was either drunk or crazy; dat or maybe he had some pretty, big balls. So I yells over to my buddies to get a loada this dude in da’ blue monkey-suit. Dem guys look around for a bit den dey seyz what the hell is da’ matter with me. Dey seyz dey don’t see nobody in no blue suit. So when I look again at where he was at just a second ago, he’s not there no more.

So later I’m walkin’ home and who’s walkin’ right next to me is dis Mr. Prendergasts guy again. He starts right in where he left off, but I’m not in no mood for dis bullshit and so I seyz to him he’s got two seconds to clear out before I beat the crap outta him. He just stands there, all mild-mannered and calm and seyz to me don’t try nothin’. He’s a small guy, and youse can see I’m a pretty big guy, so I figures it’d take just one punch from me to shut ‘em up. But da funny thing is, just as my fist slams into his face it’s like I’m da’ one who just got punched in da face. So I was da one who drops to the ground and he’s just standin’ there like nothin’ happened.

So he comes overs to me and he gets all up close to my face and seyz not to pull no more of dat crap or next time it’ll be lots worse for me den dat was. Den he seyz to me real quiet and real slow dat things are going to be different for me from dis point on. He seyz dat everything I dun up to this point in my life hasn’t dun nobody no good ‘cept for me. He seyz dat all dat is going to change and from now on I’m da one who’s going to start paying da prices so’s dat good things can happen to other people. He seyz dat sometimes I’ll know who these people is and sometimes I won’t. Sometimes I’ll be able to see what good things I dun for dem and sometimes I won’t. He seyz sometimes I’ll be able to decide whedder or not I want to pay dis price to have dis thing dun, but den again sometimes I won’t have no say in da matter. But, he seyz, I can be real sure dat it’ll run me somethin’ fierce to do these things everytime I do dem. I picked myself up offa da sidewalk and next thing I know he’s pulled dat same old disappearin’ act of his and he’s gone.

When I finally got home it was already da next morning because I seen dat da sun was already comin’ out. My old lady was waitin’ for me inside da door. She looks at my face and asks what da’ hell happened to me. I seyz nothin’ happened and dat I’m goin’ to bed. She’s not having none of dat though. She seyz I’m not allowed in da’ house (MY house) anymore and I if I need a place to stay can go live wid one of my girlfriends. Den she starts in again wid her divorce bullshit. She’s even got the friggin’ papers in her hand for me to sign. My head is poundin’, my face hurts like hell and I’m in no mood for dis crap; so I seyz to her to shut her trap. She won’t stop yammerin’ and she won’t lemme get by her so I lose my shit and I start smackin’ her around.

Next thing I know I’m layin’ on da floor wid all this blood comin’ outta my nose. My oldest boy is standing over me, he’s breathin’ all hard and I can see he’s scared – but he ain’t backin’ down none either. He grabs da papers from Linda and shoves dem in my face for me to sign. Now I wasn’t scared, I dun whupped his ass more times den I could remember. He was gettin’ big, but I coulda still taken him no problem. So I don’t knows why I signed dem papers right den and dere on the floor. Maybe it was because I was sorta proud of him. He was da type of kid who was always takin’ crap from other kids at school and den he’d just walk away, even though he coulda kicked the shit outta them easy. Or maybe it was because I had taken two shots to da face in one night and I was still half-drunk. Coulda even been dat he sorta reminded me of myself, cause way back in da day I had whupped one of my ma’s loser boyfriends in pretty much da same way (‘cept, of course, I beat dat guy up a lot worse). Like I seyz I don’t know why I signed dem papers, but it was the last time I ever went in dat house again. And look here, youse see how my nose is all bent overs? My boy broke it pretty good wid dat punch. It’s a real pain in da ass for me and to dis day I still can’t hardly breathe too good through it.

So youse see, most people think I talk wid Mr. Prendergasts because I’m some crazy bum, but how could dat be da truth - I was seein' Mr. Prendergasts before I was a bum. Youse get my point? I seen him before I lost my family and all my money. And to get back to my story dat was the end of my marriage to Linda. Den da drinkin’ got worse; I had some run-ins wid da’ law. Den I lost my cycle-shop and all da rest of da property I owned. I wish I could I say was missed at da old homestead, but I wasn’t. My old lady Linda got hitched to some hot-shot lawyer den, get a load of this, she goes and finishes up her schoolin’ and becomes a big time lawyer too.

And dem boys of ours was all doin’ everthin’ by da book too. Not only was dey all doin’ real good in school, but dey was turnin’ into a bunch jocks too. Dey played football, baseball, hoops - all dat crap. Every time I hadda chance to I’d sneak into da gym or ballpark or where-ever-the-hell dey was playin’ and watch dem boys shine. First it was when dey was in high school, den later it was when dey was in college. Dey was always the ones who got da ball when da chips were down, and dey didn’t disappoint. I used to have a bunch of newspaper clippings about dem. Youse knows. stuff like dem being on da honor roll or dem winning da big game or whatever. But den dem clippings got all weathered and coming apart like so dat I couldn’t read dem no more. Anyways, da boys all turned into upstandin’ citizen-types wid big families and good money-makin’ jobs and all, cept for the youngest.

Anyways youse should know dat while all dis is goin’ on I’m wheelin’ and dealin’ wid Mr. Prendergasts, payin’ these prices to him so dat bad things don’t happen to no good people. Lemme give youse a for instance. Do youse remember some years back when dat family was campin’ in Callarada and dey went and got demselves trapped in the middle of nowheres when dat freak fall snowstorm hit? Do youse remember how dat was all over da TV news and den everyone said it was a miracle when dey was found a week later alive, a little-worse-for-da-wear but all-in-all OK? Well lemme tell youse it wasn’t no friggin’ miracle. Me and Mr. Prendergasts was there in Callarada and I hadda pay Mr. Prendergasts in two frostbit toes to save dem. And lemme tell youse dat hurt like hell when I did dat and I now I got myself a permanent limp because of dem numbskulls. Dat’s one price I wish I coulda taken back from Mr. Pendergasts. I shoulda let dem freeze to death.

Den there was da time I saved a nursin’ home from goin’ under wid some cracked ribs. I got rolled for my whole days worth a panhandlin’ too on dat deal. Youse see Mr. Prendergasts had asked me to...What’s dat? Youse wants to know happened to my youngest boy? I don’t like to talk about dat none. But youse knows what? Maybe by tellin’ youse what happened to him I’m doin’ somebody some small bit of good somewheres. So OK here’s da story on him.

First of all lemme just say he was a real good kid, and of all da boys he treated me da best. It probably didn’t hurt none dat he was real little when I left his ma and he didn’t hardly remember me too good from when I was still in da house. Anyways, allotta da time I didn’t have to sneak in to his games; he would come up widda ticket for me. Man, I remember dis one game like it was yesterday. Dey was playin’ against some big time college and da whole place was goin’ nuts. He was da quarterback by da way. So they’re losing and they’re nearly outta time and dey have da ball about at midfield. Dey was losing by four or five points, so a field goal wouldn’ta dun dem no good. Dey needed a touchdown. So wid time runnin’ out he spreads his receivers out and runs da last play.

So da weak side linebacker, whose been sackin’ his ass all day long, gets by da tackle and is comin’ in to give him some more punishment. My boy has to roll to da right to avoid his rush. Problem is all of da receivers on da right of da field is covered good. Now da receiver in da opposite field has a couple steps on his man but dat don’t do nobody no good, there ain’t no way anyone coulda gotten him da ball. So my boy, whose rolled passed da right hash mark, unloads a Hail Mary acrost da field on da run. Sure as shit it’s a tight spiral of a rope dats’ right on da money for a friggin’ touchdown. I mean did youse hear what I said? Dat was an opposite field throw of about sixty yards on da run wid time runnin’ out. I’m tellin’ youse half a da quarterbacks in da NFL couldn’t of made dat throw and dats no lie.

And anyways dat ain’t even da point of my story.. So listen to dis. While everybodys hootin’ and hollerin’ like dey just won da friggin’ Superbowl or somethin’, what’s my boy doin’? His wavin’ like a maniac to da sideline to get some help for his fullback who just got his bell rung throwin’ dat sum-bitch linebacker a block. Anyways, dat’s da kind of kid he was to a T. And youse knows what else is funny, usually I would a had to pay Mr. Prendergasts somethin’ pretty steep to have somethin’ good like dat happen. But I didn’t have to pay him nothin’. Nothin’ bad happened to me dat day or even in da followin’ days after dat. In fact all dat week I felt da best I had felt in a long time. No, dat kid of mine did all dat on his own, fair and square.

So some years ago I start to get these nightmares, and I don’t want to sound like no pussy or nothin’, but dey was awful. In dem I seen lots of people dyin'. I seen their flesh burned off. I seen dem screamin’ and hollerin’ in pain. I seen dem staggerin’ around wid their eyes blinded, tryin’ to find their families. And not only was those dreams dat bad, but den I start to have dem when I wasn’t sleepin’. Right there wherever I was I would see people who I had seen just two seconds ago goin' about their business, all-a-da sudden dyin’ right around of me. Each time I seen it I thought it was happenin’ for real. Den a minute later everthin’ was back to normal, cept of course dey was all lookin’ at me like I was crazy cause I was actin’ all da maniac cause I thought dey was dyin' just two seconds ago.

So da next time I seen Mr. Prendergasts I axed him about da dreams and right away I know somethin’ ain’t right. Usually Mr. Prendergasts is all business-like wid me, but dis time he’s lookin’ like somethin’ is wrong wid him. Sure-as-shit he starts out sayin’ to me dis bad thing will happen if I don’t pony up a price. Dat ain’t no surprise to me, but da next thing he seyz to me is a surprise and it’s like a punch to da gut when I hear it. He seyz da only way I can put da brakes on all of dem people from dyin’ to pay wid my youngest boys’s life.

So I seyz to him no way. I seyz dat it ain’t right for him to ax dat of me. He seyz dat he ain’t got no choice in da matter, dat’s da only thing dat will do da trick.

So’s I sticks to my guns and I seyz to him no deal. Den for days afterwords I just does my best to go about my business and ignore him. Youse wanna knows somethin’ funny too? - Upintill dis time Mr. Prendergasts would come and go as he pleased, but from dis moment on Mr. Prendergasts wouldn’t never leave me alone again, not even for a second. He's wid me all da time now and I knows youse can't see him but he's standin' right over there behind ya's right now.

Anyways, da screamin’, dyin’ people was all over da place too. Den, get dis, some of dem start seein’ me and den tellin’ me dat this will all be my fault if I don’t stop all dis mess from I happen’ by not bein’ so selfish. Ya know it’s funny but you’d think after awhile I woulda got used to seein’ dem and it wouldn’t bothered me none. But dat didn’t happen, I just got more scared and sick-to-my stomach everytime I seen dem.

Den Mr. Prendergasts seyz somethin’ to me I can’t ignore. He seyz dat my son is sick and dat he’s in da hospital right now. So I haul-ass to where he’s at to see if dis is true. And let me tells youse dat all dis time my suspicions is growin’, and so I’m makin’ plans in da back of my mind to put a stop to dis if I think it’s Mr. Prendergasts and his deal dats what’s makin’ my boy sick.

It takes me a few days to get there. At first da hospital people wouldn’t let me in to see him, but when he hears I’ve come around, my boy puts up such a fuss dey have to let me in. Linda was in there wid him and I could see she wasn’t none to happy to see me. And I couldn’t hardly believe how bad my boy looked. He was always a skinny-assed kid, but there wasn’t nothin’ left to him but skin and bones. He was pale, he didn’t have no hair left, and he looked like a raccoon wid all da dark he had around his eyes. Youse could see he was in allotter pain, and from what da nurses had been sayin’ he wasn’t havin’ nothin’ to do wid all da drugs dey was tryin to dope him up wid. Even so, when he sees me he gets dis big, old smile on his face and seyz he’s glad to see me.

So he seyz to Linda he wants to talk to me wid me alone. You could tell she wasn’t none to hot about dis idear. But den he starts puttin’ up such a ruckus dat Linda gets dis worried look on her face like dis might kill him, so she seyz OK. So she kisses him on da forehead, gives me a look and takes off.

So da two of us is alone and da next thing my boy seyz was he axes me who my friend is. I freeze up, and don’t say nothin’ for a second. I axed him what are youse talkin’ about. He seyz who’s my friend in da blue suit. I got dis cold feelin’ but I’m still tryin’ to play it off and I seyz to him I you musta been talkin’ wid your ma about me. I seyz dat he ain’t nobody, just da fig-a-ment of a crazy, old coot’s imagination. Den he got quiet for a second and seyz no pa, I mean who’s your friend in da blue suit, he's standin’ there right next to youse.

So dat was da first and only time somebody seen Mr. Prendergasts besides me. Now youse can understand dat I wasn’t none to happy about it neither cause it just got my suspicions up more. Sure enough my boy seyz dat he been havin’ all these horrible dreams wid people dying in dem den. He seyz dat me and dis guy in a blue suit would always appear at da end of these dreams. We would be tryin’ to say somethin’ to him but he couldn’t hear us none. So my boy axes us if we gots somethin’ we want to say to him right now.

I seyz no we don’t have nothin’ we want to tell youse, but den Mr. Prendergasts seyz he does. Right den and dere I made up my mind. I pulled out da knife I had been hidin’ and made my move on Mr. Prendergasts. I stabbed him as hard as I could in da gut. It was funny because I remember seeing Mr. Prendergasts lookin’ surprised, and I ain’t never seen him lookin’ surprised before. What he wasn't lookin' none was hurt, even though there was plenty of blood all over da floor. My son went crazy and started howlin’ for da nurses and came at me draggin' his tubes and all wid him. He got to me just as I was about to try stick old Mr. Prendergasts again. I tells ya' he was pretty strong considerin’ how sick he was. He stopped me and a few seconds later all these nurses and doctors and what-have-ya come flying in da room. Youse could tell dey didn’t know what in the hell was goin’ on, wid all da blood and hollerin’ and tubes and everything. And of course dey couldn’t see Mr. Prendergasts none so dey either thought dat my son had stabbed me, dat or I had accidentally stabbed myself.

So there’s another thing I failed at. I couldn’t kill Mr. Prendergasts and I couldn’t kill myself neither. Dey put me in dat same hospital as my boy, cept dey wouldn’t let me see him. He wrote me a note da next day and he got one of his friends to bring it to me. I still have it. Here it is. I’ll read it to youse. It seyz, “I been talking to our mutual friend and I know what I have to do now. The deal is done. It’s not your fault, none of it’s your fault. I love you Pa. Love Brian.” When I read dat in da hospital I let up such howlin’ and screamin’ dat dey put me under. When I woke up dey told me my boy was gone.

Youse knows what’s funny? Sometimes I sees him, my boy, now too. Sometimes I'm real glad to see him, but other times I can’t even talk to him none when I see him, it bothers me too much. In fact, I sees all kinds of people now; other people besides Mr. Prendergasts dat other peole don't see neither. Youse knows what I think, I think Mr. Prendergasts took I little piece of my mind dat day along with my boy as his price. Dat’s what I think. Youse know it's possible dat even youse is a fig-a-ment of my imagination. Even youse could be just another one of da ghosts dat haunts me dat ain’t real.

Anyways I got’s to be goin’ now. Mr. Prendergasts is tellin’ me it’s time to move on. He’s at da mouth of a tunnel. I can hear noise, like hollerin' or cheerin’ goin’ on da other side of it. I get dis funny feelin’ dat there’s some sort of big game bein’ played over there. Mr. Prendergasts gives me my newspaper clippins back (youse know da ones about my boys) and they're like new. I’m about to ax him where-in-da-hell he got dem from when I notice he’s wearing a blue eye patch. He seyz dat I’m not da only one who’s can pay somethin’ to make things better for other people. He tells me get movin' inta da tunnel. He seyz to me to just go on through to da other side and everythin’ will be all right.

Den he seyz goodbye.

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