"I was thinking of casting either Lillie Langtry or Lili Marleen for the part of Gloria Goodbody in the new show. What do you think, William?"

"I think that you might be better trying to hire Claire de Lune, Arthur. She has a finer comedy touch and, although less of a name, she is reliable and has no egotistical fancies whatsoever."

"That may be so, but let me consider the Lillies first. Then, when I've weighed up the advantages and disadvantages, I can choose the person most suitable for the part."

"Yes, I know you will, Arthur, I know you will."

(A time passes)

"Arthur?"

"Yes, William?"

"You know it's 1913, don't you?" Arthur's question was put forward with a thoughtful tone.

"Is it, by Jiminy? Who'd have thought it?"

"But you died in 1900, Arthur. You've already written your last comic opera."

"Oh! Now, how did that happen? I seem to be well enough, and I'm certainly looking forward to this new production. Be a shame if I'd got my hopes up for nothing."

"I think it must be the chappie who's writing this. He can't have done enough research on his details, though how I'd know that is a mystery to me. It's a bad show all round."

"Well, If I'm dead already, I'm not putting up with being anachronistic. I demand to be respectfully buried and mourned for a decent while. Hopefully the operas will be performed long after my, erm... death, and we will be household names for the future, ad infinitum."

"I'll drink to that, Arthur."

(A pause)

"William?"

"Yes, Arthur?"

Didn't I die the year before Queen Victoria died?"

"Yes, the dear old queen is dead, Arthur?  You didn't know that." William's expression changed from bemused confusion to one of sadness.

"I'm afraid thtait is so, Arthur. King Edward VII has come and gone as well. We've got George V on the throne now."

"This is certainly a rum state of affairs. You'll be telling me that the Boer war's over and we're fighting the Germans next."

"Actually, Arthur, there's quite a possibility that we will."

(a considerable pause to dwell on recent information gained)

(hesitantly) "Arthur?"

(equally hesitantly) "Yes, William?"

"Lily Langtry’s nearly sixty, you don't think that she's a little old for the part of Gloria Goodbody, do you?"

"That's a point. How old's Lili Marleen, William?"

"I don't think there is a person called 'Lili Marleen', Arthur, I have a strange feeling that it's a famous song from the trenches of World War One, that hasn't been written yet."

"How inconvenient!" Arthur rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "World War One?"

"Yes, Arthur. A major conflict - due to start next autumn - involving most of Europe and eventually the Americans, too. The Great War they're going to call it. The War To End All Wars. They say it may be over by Christmas 1914, but I doubt it."

"World War One? William?"

"Yes, that's right, Arthur. Then later on we have World War Two. Followed by the dread of a World War Three.

"World War Two! World War Three! Do we have a World War Three, William?"

"There hasn't been one by the time of this being written, my dear, (dead) man. but there's still that threat hanging over people."

(Arthur chews on this for a while)

"William?"

"Yes, Arthur?"

"I don't think that the new show's going to happen, is it?

"Probably not, Arthur. You didn't write anything of note after you died. There was that posthumous Te Deum for the Boer War, but that doesn't really count. Sorry, old chum, but death can put a bit of a crimp in the writing output, you know."

"Yes, I'm beginning to see that, William." (Pause) "I have another question."

"What is it, Arthur?"

"Who's Clair de Lune?"

"Ah, that was just a joke, Arthur. Clair de Lune is French for 'moonlight'. Seeing as you've been dead thirteen years - and are a considerable anachronism in 1913 - you might as well try and hire the moonlight to play a part in our latest comic opera."

(Arthur frowns)

"Can I ask you one last question, William?"

"Certainly, Arthur, I'll be glad to answer it. Go ahead and ask it."

"What kind of a name is Schwenck?"

(Exeunt)