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Ex factor.
Laced up,
my bones are tied together strong,
and this time you are not my storm.
This way, that way, you point your fingers and grab my shoulders.
I will wear you down, I will break your wrists,
You cannot make me take the fall for you.
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| Thank you all. I do need to improve it but I can't think of where to go with it. It'll be a work in progress ;] |
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| This poem just seems to be begging for more...or maybe that's just me. ;) I would love to see you extend this concept further. I think it would be affective if you had more descriptions on the storm itself. Then you could explain even more how that storm will not affect you, because you are so tied up. Just some thoughts. I think it's an interesting concept. |
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| I like the image of 'my bones are tied together strong' but I think it could be developed throughout the poem, providing an effective contrast to the metaphor of the storm. The second half of the poem is okay but feels a little cliched, imo. Still, a good start. |
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| Very well written piece, with so much impact and power. Really impressive. |
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