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Thula7
Jen Steffen
United States, MN, Minneapolis

Words: 2227
Access: Public
Comments: 12

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Something Funny Under Louisianna Avenue

I. “Alien Abduction!”

She read the story in the paper over breakfast, and that evening she heard another report on the news. The disappearances were beginning to pick up, and only in one spot. Impossibly, people were disappearing as they drove the stretch of 394 West and passed under Louisiana Avenue.

Kidnapping was ruled out simply because it took place in the middle of the freeway. The high-occupancy vehicle lane was ruled out as a nice cause for thinning traffic because whole cars were disappearing. Some were stating the book of Revelation and calling this the beginning of the rapture. Unfortunately, when a well-known atheist disappeared, the religious radicals quieted down, but the paranormal enthusiasts started screaming “Alien abduction!”

She usually got off at Louisiana Avenue on her way to work, but she had gone under the bridge with no ill effects, no “Alien abduction!” However, she was noticing how traffic thinned out nicely after the underpass for apparently no reason, and she did find herself wondering where they all went. Her logical mind attributed it to more sensible driving, though why people would change the way they drove after going through an underpass was still a mystery in itself.

Her mother called at supper and talked to her about it, cautioning her to drive a different route. “I just don’t want to lose you, Elise,” she sighed.

“Don’t worry mom,” she yawned into the phone. “I’ll be alright. I get off the freeway before that underpass anyway.” Hanging up, she turned off the evening news.

With another yawn, she retired for the night. It was strange, but people weren’t staying off the freeway because of it. In fact, traffic on that stretch was always bad, both morning and afternoon rush hours. She slept fitfully because she hadn’t given this issue a lot of thought until now.

The next morning, Elise woke still tired. She hadn’t slept well, and now she went through her morning routine on autopilot. Not a coffee drinker, she never got a shot of caffeine to wake her, and this morning, the sound and feel of the shower as it beat her back in rhythm only served to lull her. She was only marginally more awake when she left for work.

The clock in her car startled her to a state of wakefulness when she realized she only had ten minutes to make a twenty-minute trip. Of course, she thought as she slowed to half the speed limit of fifty-five.

“Always when I’m in a hurry,” she muttered.
After five minutes, she passed an accident and waited to get onto 394. She was only a quarter of the way to work and she only had five minutes left. Reaching in her bag, she realized she had left her cell phone home. Well, no call to work then, she thought as her clock changed from 7:59 to 8:00.

Finally, she merged onto 394 West, and traffic, while still thick, moved easier. She was now five minutes late with ten minutes to go if speeds stayed up. Then she got passed highway 100, and Louisiana Avenue came into view. She put on her signal to move over, but traffic was too thick, and no one would let her move anywhere but forward. Briefly, she wished aliens would abduct her; then she’d have a better excuse for being late. As she passed the Louisiana Avenue exit, she saw the bridge up ahead. The thick traffic moving and undulating toward it, carrying her as a wave carries a seashell to shore.

She thought she had closed her eyes, or maybe she blinked, but as soon as the bridge passed overhead, traffic was gone, and so was the road. Hitting her brakes, she slammed into a cement scrap sticking nearly straight up. Elise was sure she’d still been going at least thirty miles an hour when she’d hit it, and her airbag had gone off. Her nose hurt, and her neck and shoulders were tightened more than she would have believed they could. As she lost consciousness, one irrational thought became clear.

So this is what alien abduction is like.


II. The Time Warp

She opened her eyes to pain, and a blurry white figure came to her side. “You’re awake, good. The doctor will have a few questions for you when you feel up to talking.”

“Where am I?” she croaked.

“North Memorial,” the figured answered.

Aliens have taken over the hospital, she thought. Alien abduction had suddenly become a real possibility. She blinked a few times and the figure slowly became a nurse. “Wow,” she whispered, “you look human.”

The nurse laughed and shook his head. “Well, thank you, since I am.” He was checking the equipment that stood beside her bed.

Aliens have humans working for them, she thought as fear began to creep around the edge of her consciousness. “What happened?” she said, the croak sounding more like her voice now.

“Well, from what we can tell, you crashed into a wall of concrete going between twenty-five and thirty-five miles an hour.” The nurse turned and smiled at her. He was cute. “You weren’t wearing your seatbelt. Your airbag broke your nose and dislocated your shoulders. You also have whiplash, and you’re lucky that’s all that happened.” He winked at her and made some notes. “You should have been wearing your seatbelt.”

A tall thin woman with long black hair, wearing a lab coat came into the room. “The patient is awake,” she said with a smile. “How do you feel, Ms. Anderson?”

She felt confused and hurt. The alien controlled humans in North Memorial hospital know my name, she thought. “I want to go home,” she whispered. She saw the nurse and the doctor exchange a knowing glance.

“Ms. Anderson, do you know what year it is?” the doctor asked, trying to sound casual. She looked over the nurse’s notes.

Elise was about to say it, but something about the way the doctor kept glancing at her made her uneasy. Finally, with nothing better to say, she said, “2005.”

The doctor smiled and nodded. “The alien abduction year,” she said to the nurse.

Elise suddenly felt foolish for even entertaining the idea of alien abduction. Of course, you need aliens for alien abduction, and every one knew there were no aliens. She swallowed, finding her mouth suddenly dry.
The nurse smiled and nodded back. Redirecting her gaze to the bed, the doctor gently took Ms. Anderson’s hand. “It’s 2415,” she said.

Despite the pain it caused her nose, she frowned. Her mind tried to grasp it, with no success, and she thought maybe the doctor was playing some cruel joke, but the serious looks on both the nurse and the doctor told her that wasn’t the case. “But…” she squirmed and tried to push up, but her shoulders protested and she only stared. “How?”

The doctor patted Elise’s hand again. “We have counselors that can explain it to you. You just try and get some rest,” she said looking at the equipment. The doctor checked Ms. Anderson’s eyes, pulse, and reflexes. She smiled. “Well, you could be released tomorrow. Try and get some rest,” she said again and handed Elise a call button. “If you need anything, just call a nurse.” Then putting the chart in a wall slot, she left.

The nurse adjusted her blanket. “At least you come from a time when technology was prevalent. It won’t be so difficult for you to adjust.” He smiled and left.

Alone in a familiar place, in an unfamiliar time, Elise Anderson looked out the window, her neck protesting the movement, and she began to cry.


III. Ever After

Elise sat in the counselor’s office. Her shoulders felt much better, but her neck and nose were still in pain. At the moment, she felt fine, but that would only last another hour and a half, when she would need another dose of pain medication. She stared purposefully at the holographic elephant that trumpeted on Rob’s desk.

The counselor had introduced himself as Rob and finished gathering some notes before sitting in a chair next to her. “This tells me you’re from 2005.” He raised his eyebrows at her, but it had been a statement.

She couldn’t nod in response, and her eyes only strayed from the elephant briefly. Her mind still couldn’t quite understand the situation, and the little elephant strangely comforted her, though she wasn’t sure why.

Rob glanced at something in his hand and then smiled at her. “This is a wireless device that will connect to news reports and papers archived all the way back to the beginning of the twentieth century. According to reports from your time, people thought the disappearances along that stretch were alien abduction.” He chuckled a little and set the reader down.

She felt her face redden. She had only believed it in her delirium, but she still felt foolish. She narrowed her eyes at the tiny animated trunk as the elephant raised it for another blow, trying to convince herself that anyone would have felt the same way.

He shook his head and leaned forward. “It’s ok, we’ve heard many different explanations. It is in fact a time warp.” He paused to let that sink in.

“There’s no such thing,” she said before she could stop herself.

“Just like there are no aliens,” he smiled and glanced at the elephant on his desk. “It just appeared on day. Our scientists are baffled. We destroyed the road, hoping to that would destroy the anomaly.” He looked back at her. “We destroyed the bridge, but that made it worse.” He began to fidget. “We, um, rebuilt the bridge.”

She closed her eyes. A time warp, she thought. “I need to call my mom,” she said, trying not to panic.

Rob closed his eyes, taking the video device from her. Tapping something out on the screen, he nodded and handed it back to her.

Seven More Missing, the headline read. Among the missing, Elise Anderson, Michael Bailey, Sven Stevenson, Morgan Thompson, and others. Mrs. Anderson had called the police distraught when she called her daughter at work and got no answer.

“I knew she’d been taken,” she told the reporter. “I spoke with her the night before. I told her to take a different route. Now my only daughter is gone!” At this Mrs. Anderson broke down crying.

This reporter is not convinced of the Alien abduction theory, and is promising to aid police in anyway possible to find these missing persons and bring them home.

Elise felt a sinking feeling in her belly that had nothing to do with pain medication side effects. “So what am I supposed to do now?” she shifted her gaze to the window. I will never see my mother again. “I had a car, and an apartment, a job. Can I go back?” She knew the answer before Rob spoke.

He laughed nervously. “No,” he looked at his shoes, then picked up a report and handed it to her. “As far as we have been able to determine, it’s one way. In the report is all the information you need to start you out here. You will be given an apartment for six months. In that time, you can get familiar with the now and find a job, or apply for assistance.”

She sighed, holding the report. It listed an address and a phone number. “So I need to go here?”

He stood and opened the door. “Yes. They will provide money and food, and they will give you the key and address to where you will be living. I believe you have been discharged?”

“Yes,” she said through clenched teeth, not sure how else to respond. “Thank you.”

Rob stood with her, extending his hand. “Should you need to talk, about anything, I’m here. The receptionist can make an appointment for you.” He handed her a card with his name on it and the phone number for his receptionist.

Elise took the card and left the office. She wasn’t sure she’d want to talk, but then again, she might. As she walked out of the building, the changes in development were stark. The cars were silent as they glided along the road, and a black, streamlined sedan stopped in front of her.

Elise stared at the darkly tinted window as it slid down. The nurse from her room smiled at her from the driver’s seat. “I’m John, by the way,” he said to her with a wave. “Need a ride?”

Slowly nodding, she looked at the address in hand. “I suppose I need to start here.”

He opened the door for her and took the file from her. “Not really,” he tossed it into the back seat. “Unless you want to,” he looked at her as she climbed into the passenger seat. “Always better to see the sights with a native,” he put the car in drive and slid back into traffic. John gave her a wink, “Put your seatbelt on.”

As the belt clicked around her waist, Elise was finally beginning to think the future might not be so bad after all.

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Comments  
Psyfyman81 Comment by: Psyfyman81 - 2008-08-14 13:42
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well, I think it was a pretty good attempt at science fiction. But personally I believe that when we get out exploring and colonizing space I think our technology would stunt a little bit. so I think the use of technology that is close to modern isn't too crazy an idea. I do feel that this story could continue. But I see a moral in this, I don't know why, maybe I'm crazy. Good work...
Kendall20 Comment by: Kendall20 - 2008-01-16 18:04
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Hi, I didn't read this story in its beginning stages so I can't tell you if it has improved. I think it is a really interesting premise though, people disappearing on a stretch of highway. Highways are kind of creepy places if you stop to think about, especially a particularly long or desolate stretch...so yeah, this will only serve to add to my paranoia. On the my critique:

I don't drive on highways much, but I am kind of confused by the idea of an underpass. Where I live, in Maine, underpasses are just the width of a two, maybe four, lane bridge. You can pass under them in the matter of a second. So I am kind of confused how people could disappear that quickly and not be noticed by fellow drivers. Are you talking about a wider underpass? Then it would make sense to me that disappearances would be a bit harder to spot.

"Of course, she thought as she slowed to half the speed limit of fifty-five. " This sentence confuses me. Does that mean that she is going approximately 27.5 mph? That seems pretty slow. Also....it is implied in the next sentence that she has to slow down for some reason (an accident?) so is that why she slows down to this slow speed? It could be a bit clearer from the get-go, rather than revealing information in the following sentences. The slight confusion only adds to the slightly awkward wording.

"The thick traffic moving and undulating toward it, carrying her as a wave carries a seashell to shore."
Lovely simile and imagery, but I don't the word undulating had me kind of stop and think. Undulate seems like a more sensuous, almost revolting in certain contexts, movement than a car can create. I'm not sure what you could put in its place or even if you should.

The transition between the last sentence and the "abduction" was a bit too abrupt to me. A little build up of tension would be welcome. Maybe she could be watching the cars in front of her being enveloped by the shadow of the underpass or.....maybe it could be looming in the distance, though that term is sort of cliched.

I really like the addition of a holographic elephant! Who knew the future would hold such wonders....plus its just a really interesting tidbit of an idea.

If there was some way you could separate the body of the article of the newspaper that elise reads in rob's office, that would be great. Italics would do the trick. It just surprised me when I would move on to a new paragraph and it was continuing. Nothing about the content detracted from the story, just the layout had me slightly confused for half a second.

OOH La La! John! This story definitely needs more chapters or segments or installments or whatever you have in mind. It is a cool idea!

I hope this helps and you aren't daunted by the length of my thoughts. Everything I noted could be fixed in a matter of minutes. Thanks for the read.
LouiseKay Comment by: LouiseKay Online- 2008-01-16 12:37
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Feels like there are more chapters coming. I'd love to see how this proceeds.
I will offer my quibble about the futuristic setting. There will be differences, especially after 400 years. Perhaps the time jump could be shorter? Like 100-200 years instead of 400. Still, there needs to be more distinguishing characteristics to your future world. Try reading Asimov, Bradbarry, Heinlein, etc, for inspiration on what Earth's future might look like.
Meanwhile, this did keep me gripped. A little fleshing out of the main character might not be a bad idea, but I was able to sympathize pretty well with what is provided.
Good luck!
LowIQ Comment by: LowIQ - 2008-01-16 04:34
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Nice work. Personally I'd build the actual person up more, give her a little more bite, make us care.

I'd also start the piece with what looked like the newspaper article, rather than just saying she was reading it. I think that'd give it a good start point.

A hospital 400+ years in the future will be a lot different than ours. I think she'd notice what looked like Alien tech around her. You could build that into the sequence when she wakes up.

Also, with the counselor you mention a "wireless device". Personally I'd give that a more futuristic name. In another 400 years wireless tech is going to be stone age.

Anyway, a good read. If you revise it I'll give it another read.
Thula7 Comment by: Thula7 - 2008-01-15 21:04
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Thank you for your feedback. I have revised and edited. Please tell me what you think of the new version.
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