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Exiting a Room
Thief, do not sneak, do not sneak,
do not sneak up on me -
for I welcome you to my cold body.
Point me up to you,
let my saddened body
fall clumsy against your body -
and we will rise, two lovers
lifted from angry bones.
I watch your palm look up
and follow your eyes to my face -
you touch my untouched leaves,
and from me, you do not leave,
but land bright doves before my feet.
I have wept for every open wing forced to close;
And now, I am nearly open to your birds.
I stand with an empty suitcase grasped in my hand;
I look around once more.
Emerge the dark room.
I am ready. I am warm.
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| Once again I sing your praises...I love the theif...the last line is perfect. |
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I've read the three poems you have posted here and find a common thread woven between them. You use diction that favors the tactile, skin on skin, frost on skin. You bear weight, you bend and you break. You are a little wood nymph too. An outdoor soul mate to whom? Enjoyed the frost.
Dave |
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| The last three lines of the third stanza make me all tingly inside. I'm so in love with that rhyme. (See, I don't hate rhyme all THAT much.) Sometimes there is nothing better than a cleverly used little bit of rhyme. You have managed to put so much rhythm into this free form. The first two lines of the poem are a clear indicator of what is to come. |
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| This is very, very good, Stephanie. There is something electric about the imagery in the poem, giving a sensual atmosphere. The metaphor of the thief has been worked well and I like the symbolism of the doves, which can be read on so many levels. Very good writing. |
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