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I have a dream
I want to observe lions under African skies
Expand my own universe, travel to the moon
But I am being confined
I had this dream
To have a good life,
Find a safe place
And find one true love
All of this is mine to keep
I am the dream
This fragile thing called life
It is a gift to cherish and explore
There may be setbacks and even pain
But I will always be picked up
This dream called my life
A smile on a strangers face
A hug from a dear friend
A tender moment filled with love
Nothing can make me richer.
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Comment by: mitra - 2008-02-10 19:38
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| Sometimes we miss the point. I think, this piece brings it to light. I loved the way the first sentences evolved. |
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| Yep, the simple things in life! The things that really matter! |
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Comment by: precar - 2008-01-10 08:08
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| Excellent evolution of perspective as the poem progresses. It's a very nice read, thank you for sharing it. |
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| David, your advice was helpful and has been taken to heart. Thanks so much! :-) |
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Nicole, you started to describe things in more concrete terms at the end, how a hug and a smile are the dream called your life. Now maybe go back to the begining and instead of just speaking of travel, tell me something specific, like, I want to walk through the cobblestone streets of Pompeii, or I want to sleep in a villa in an Umbrian hill town. That will differentiate your poem from other about similar themes.
Good luck with all you write,
Dave |
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