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Illusive
Time is just a broken clock, don’t hang it on the wall
Thoughts are notes left on a desk and truth is just a call
Secrets have a paper tag, are you willing to pay?
Knowledge stands for customer, desire – for valet
Fear is in the air you breathe, doubts are hovering birds
Regret is in the elements, forgiveness just in words
We seem to follow other’s path but trust leads to dead-end
Promises are built on sand, deceptions are a trend
Paradise is just a dream and dreams are just a phase
Ask yourself what’s real, what’s not, to prevent bad days
Love’s a soup, slips out of hands and pleasure’s just a hoax
Memories are amulets, successes are just smokes
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| The best part of your poem, if you ask me, is that it's bare-bones but not lacking any important concept. Another stanza at the end would make this poem even better, if you ask me. And yes, it is depressing, but it's a good way to express your angst, if you asked me. ;) |
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Hi Timea,
It's been a while since i've read your work..this one stands out for me, heck it is depressing but I love the innuendos....
Time is just a broken clock, don’t hang it on the wall
pleasure's just a hoax
doubts are hovering birds
With an opening like that, the rest of the piece flowed, leaning toward the darker side....interesting lines all througout...
No slicing my writs here....keep writing hon... |
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| i really appreciate this. dark words with an actual sense of credibility. that's a rare thing, in my experience. kudos to you. |
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JESUS CRIST
this is depressing
but
on a positive note
there is some interesting word play
curious imagery
and cute rhymes
;)
overruling my immediate need to go and slice my wrists
;)
well done
x m.d. |
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