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The Ram's Horn
You worry too much, my Lamb,
with your baa-baa's and
curly snub of tail, bent and
huddled between these humbled thighs.
For you are chastised, a Bellwether,
the orphan of slight appendages,
one shake of head dips the grease,
the other nudges the bullet--
because your scent,
it's just a stench that never ceases.
Your hoof, wonderful and fat,
flattens shoulder, as I rave,
the Quiet Beast, herded away,
so as to never stray.
And how audibly the Shepherd does cringe,
squelching the solvent that sanitizes
the !achoo-achoo!
I puff all over you--
because your touch,
it just isn't what it used to be.
But fret not,
for I do trot-trot,
my Lamb.
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Comment by: Stephie - 2007-11-14 12:43
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| Your choice of words, April, are always, always remarkable and new. I always look forward to seeing what you will come up with next. Your diction, your syntax, everything is truly commendable. Your metaphors are extremely comeplaex, but I think this works to your advantage....you keep your reader coming back to your poetry and discovering a new part of themselves that they never knew was there. |
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Subtle. Full of integrated images. Reads well.
I am a simple country boy and not prone to dealing well with the subtle; if it weren't for the comments of others, I'd still be groping blindly. I feel a bit like hx's comment.
So ... I don't have much to offer you, other than readership. |
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| Ah, well, I suspected this in another poem, "a pocket for your small violences." And now, a snub of tail...between...thighs, yes. Well, they say it's what you do with it and it seems this sheepish gent isn't doing it the way he once did, but he's got it made if you're not going to shear off with the shephard. Crafted to perfection. Too perfection. |
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Comment by: Sophia - 2007-11-12 01:15
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This is really well written, with unusual imagery. I loved these lines:
Your hoof, wonderful and fat,
flattens shoulder, as I rave,
the Quiet Beast, herded away,
Will be reading more of your writing (sorry it's taken me a while to comment!) |
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| This is amazing. I love the symbolism and the use of animalistic noises, such as baa-baa. Very nice. |
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