The Ass’s Fault

The wife didn’t want to park in her driveway for at least a couple of days. They guy who did their driveway recommended, in quite the stern voice, “twenty-four hours exactly.”
He couldn’t stress enough the need to wait for no less then twenty four hours. It was twelve pm exactly when he finished. “Don’t you park here until twelve tomorrow, ok?”
The husband wasn’t compliant. “I’m sure it’d be ok to park there at eleven?”
“No!” the asphalt man yelled. “You must wait until twelve.”
“Ok, buddy,” the husband giggled.
Bright and early the next morning, the husband and wife got up. It was nine o’clock when they left. They drove all around town, looking at antique stores and shopping for clothes. They spent two hours and arrived home at 11:15.
“Remember not to park in the driveway yet,” warned the wife.
“C’mon, honey, it’s been long enough.”
“The guy said not to park until twelve.”
“Well I’m not parking in the grass.”
“Why not?”
“I just laid down new seed. How’s it gonna grow with my big old truck grinding it up?”
“It’ll be fine.”
“No it won’t”
“Yes it will.”
“No it won’t”
“Yes it will. If you don’t want to park on the grass then park on the side of the road.”
“Do we live in a crowded city?”
“No.”
“Then, dear, we can’t park on the side.”
He began parking in the driveway.
“No, Frank, stop it.”
“Stop what, honey.”
“Don’t pull up anymore!”
He inched the truck in.
“Don’t do it!” she yelled.
“What am I doing, honey?”
“I paid three hundred and fifty dollars for the driveway and you’re ruining it!”
“Hey now, I paid for the driveway.”
“No you-
The husband put the truck in park, and immediately, it began to sink into the new asphalt. The two didn’t notice in their bickering. Finally, the car sunk up to the windows, and the wife noticed first:
“Holy shit, Frank, look!”
“What- oh shit!”
“Open the doors!”
“They’re stuck!”
The wife proceeded to smack and hit the husband as the car was completely consumed by precisely twelve o’clock, when it hardened completely. They died inside together.

Want to comment on this Short Stories? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...