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Beyond the Border
You walk into a bar just before the night shift. The bartender looks you over, because you're the only one there, except for the permanent fixture with no teeth and hollow eyes hanging over his beer.
You order a bottle of the house’s best. The bartender smiles, nods, reaches under the bar and pulls out a shot glass and a tall bottle; the good stuff, imported. He fills your glass slowly and hands it to you with purpose, along with the bottle. He takes extra care to face the label toward you, then he backs away to leave you your privacy.
Now, you could just slam down shot after shot until the bottle’s empty, but not today. Today requires special reverance and you become light-headed with the anticipation of it. So, you take up that shot glass and hold it to the dim lights, grinning. You look through the rich amber liquid, oily and smooth, and then close your eyes and breathe in the heavy aroma.
“This one’s for you, comrades.” You whisper as a prayer to whatever god you come from.
You carefully get up from your stool and carry the shot glass and the bottle just past the doorway and turn the glass upside-down. As the whiskey spatters dark patterns across the grey, weathered stone you continue, “Six souls beyond the border and I.” You put the bottle to your lips and drink deeply before coming up for air.
“War’s a bitch.”
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Comment by: LadyMoon Online- 2007-11-18 08:03
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Hahaha.
*claps*
Your last light, very fitting. As I've mentioned in a number of other posts, with last lines, you gottaTgive'r. That line... *presses finger tips to lips* muah!
Your images are clear. Very cinomatic. :)
Enjoyed, greatly.
Thank you for putting me in that place. |
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| I think your plea for fallen comrades is pretty interesting, given the fact that we live in such turbulent times. I often feel like there is a callback to the past in this in terms of perhaps before World War II, when the world was a lot more "interested" in alcohol (and I say "interested" because it was much more prevalent). A lot of people drank to their fallen comrades then, and still do now. |
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Hi Toni,
I'm not sure about first-person point-of-view for this piece, but the writing is good. There are some very nice details in the second paragraph especially.
Thanks for sharing this.
J. |
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Comment by: - 2007-11-13 13:46
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| Full of movement. Fabulous poignancy in the text and a good example of using words to add smell and *text*ure to the piece. Although the sentiment is a little clichéd for me, I admire the skill within the writing. Fab stuff. |
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