 |
 |
 |
| |
Diving
Love has become a bird
falling from the sky
like a great white blossom of silence
delicately collapsing within.
I too break away from all men -
let worms instead ravage my body
because the ground does damage
to the remains of the bird -
but the soul had left long before -
stripped of all strength -
knowing that there was never any other means of escape
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
| I'm interested in the difference between "falling" and "diving," especially where "diving" seems to imply a controlled decision (although not necessarily) with the possibility of pulling up or out of the motion. Does the speaker "break away" from men with free will? or is it an empty, inevitable fall, which I suspect it is. Then I'm confused again by the word "knowing," because awareness of an inevitability seems to stress choice (even a lack of it); the word "escape" seems complicit in this as well. I really like the way the speaker seems to clarify "diving" as an inevitable reaction and also as a state of incapacity, more like "falling," and how the two alterations seem to build off each other in the poem. |
|
|
| A sad but beautiful piece, Steph. I like the opening metaphor and the last line hits you like a shot of espresso. Good stuff :) |
|
|
I think this is one of the most visual poems that you have ever written. Even the title gives me a vision of a swooping bird in flight. Everything about this poem is absolute perfection. Not only is the imagery top notch, but the metaphor is well done and not cliche, your wording is unique, and the emotions are flowing through vibrantly.
Excellent poem! |
| 1 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
