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Comment by: Stephie - 2008-09-12 23:02
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Come to think of it, I see your point entirely about the word 'sacrifice' being a bit arrogant. I think the personal reasons behind the poem spurred the word more than anything actually. I think that is, in fact, unfair to the reader.
Thank you for the read :) |
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Well, the poem is so very intense in its inaudible complain and humility but I felt the title a tad arrogant. Although the word 'sacrifice' itself is such a noble word, but I always felt others say it for us and not we for our own. Of course it is entirely my opinion.
Now for the poem, it is one beautiful creation. The self denial, self refusal element has lent a sublimity to your resentment. Yeah, why not? Sometimes words seems noises and here your silence screamed. Lovely. |
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Comment by: Dakota - 2008-02-04 09:56
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'I have learned to speak in silences'
What a line.
I believe we can communicate through senses - the thoughts we get when in anothers company, it just takes practise. Empathy is another way to communicate. This line expresses that for me...x
'the way moonlight quietly speeds her fingers
through night to touch and tuck
the stark-staring bones that hide'
I'm not sure what this means yet - but I'm not bothered about that - I think the words are put together in a very pleasing way
'afraid within their blankets.'
A lovely line
'But can I make tangible that pale and partial light?'
Gorgeous
'because I can't answer anymore
to the way your phrases mouth and cause
my sheets to misshape.'
Really moving word pictures - that conjure and cajole
One to read over and over...x |
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Comment by: Stephie - 2007-11-15 13:19
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It is a refusal ;)
And thanks for pointing out that typo! |
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If only we could speak in silences. Or rather, if only humankind possessed some kind of communication with the simplicity and beauty conveyed in a beam of moonlight. I like this poem because it seems to invoke that very direct and powerful meaning that people discover sometimes in life (god/religion, nature, peace, etc...) but is often completely absent in language and communication we depend upon everyday. I wonder if "I can't answer anymore..." is a refusal or a defeat; I'd like to think refusal.
Is it "to they way your phrases mouth..." or "to the way your phrases mouth..." |
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