writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
Stephie
stephanie anderson
United States, TN, Clarksville

Words: 58
Access: Public
Comments: 7

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Sacrifice.

I have learned to speak in silences
the way moonlight quietly speeds her fingers
through night to touch and tuck
the stark-staring bones that hide
afraid within their blankets.

But can I make tangible that pale and partial light?

-

because I can't answer anymore
to the way your phrases mouth and cause
my sheets to misshape.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Stephie Comment by: Stephie - 2008-09-12 23:02
Add to Readers
      
Come to think of it, I see your point entirely about the word 'sacrifice' being a bit arrogant. I think the personal reasons behind the poem spurred the word more than anything actually. I think that is, in fact, unfair to the reader.

Thank you for the read :)
junenandy Comment by: junenandy - 2008-09-12 22:42
Add to Readers
      
Well, the poem is so very intense in its inaudible complain and humility but I felt the title a tad arrogant. Although the word 'sacrifice' itself is such a noble word, but I always felt others say it for us and not we for our own. Of course it is entirely my opinion.

Now for the poem, it is one beautiful creation. The self denial, self refusal element has lent a sublimity to your resentment. Yeah, why not? Sometimes words seems noises and here your silence screamed. Lovely.
Dakota Comment by: Dakota - 2008-02-04 09:56
Add to Readers
      
'I have learned to speak in silences'
What a line.
I believe we can communicate through senses - the thoughts we get when in anothers company, it just takes practise. Empathy is another way to communicate. This line expresses that for me...x

'the way moonlight quietly speeds her fingers
through night to touch and tuck
the stark-staring bones that hide'

I'm not sure what this means yet - but I'm not bothered about that - I think the words are put together in a very pleasing way

'afraid within their blankets.'

A lovely line

'But can I make tangible that pale and partial light?'
Gorgeous

'because I can't answer anymore
to the way your phrases mouth and cause
my sheets to misshape.'

Really moving word pictures - that conjure and cajole
One to read over and over...x
Stephie Comment by: Stephie - 2007-11-15 13:19
Add to Readers
      
It is a refusal ;)
And thanks for pointing out that typo!
tristanmmang Comment by: tristanmmang Online- 2007-11-15 13:13
Add to Readers
      
If only we could speak in silences. Or rather, if only humankind possessed some kind of communication with the simplicity and beauty conveyed in a beam of moonlight. I like this poem because it seems to invoke that very direct and powerful meaning that people discover sometimes in life (god/religion, nature, peace, etc...) but is often completely absent in language and communication we depend upon everyday. I wonder if "I can't answer anymore..." is a refusal or a defeat; I'd like to think refusal.

Is it "to they way your phrases mouth..." or "to the way your phrases mouth..."
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By Stephie

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S