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Stripped
You sit loosened upon my shirt -
my hands roam, clumsy, to slip the buttons
from their hole,
while around the room
blue eyes roam, curiously -
I see how easily you have always fit.
The motion of my body as I remove old clothes
is dull - but ready to feel the softest air of nudity
appeal new to my skin -
I lift you up -
I offer you, my sweetest stain,
to happiness -
And my once angry dark hair falls
vulnerable against my bare shoulders -
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Comment by: Dakota - 2008-01-26 15:11
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You exploit me - rob me of my gravity, my balance
I surrender
I can feel the air |
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| You are La Femme Poetica...very well done. You took us there...we could feel the air on our skin with you...very sensual and mysterious. Good write. |
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Comment by: Louise - 2007-11-14 14:24
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| Love this piece, phrases like "blue eyes roam" and "clumsy, to slip the buttons" just ache in the most beautiful way. You also really get a sense of the whole scene - like watching in a movie - from just a few choice captions and I think thats what makes this so effective - almost like an emotional T.S Eliot. A pleasure to read :) |
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| I never noticed before how this poem just kind of trails off. It doesn't have a definitive ending, which I think is really telling to the situation the writer is in. The imagery all came rushing back to me from the first time I read this...or did you read it to me? I can't recall now. ;) Anyways, brilliant as per usual. |
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| This piece exudes sensuality. The metaphor has been very well done here and I love the twist in the final stanza, with its bitter personification of the 'angry dark hair' being contrasted neatly against the symbolically plain and innocent shoulders. Very good work, Steph. |
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