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Koinonia
Hannah Thorley
United Kingdom

Words: 102
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Fight

Fight


We’re wresting again.

Rolling round his room

making sounds his parents could interpret

the wrong way

3-1 to me. He’s letting me win.

I can tell as a half-hearted lunge

floors him

4-2 to me. We’re starting to get hot.

He’s gritting his teeth as he tries

to beat me,

but it’s too late to realise

I don’t need his help.

5-2 to me. I laugh ‘til I ache.

Sitting on his back

pinning his arms to the floor.

He tries to throw me off with limbs

weak from laughter

7-3 to me. I win!

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Comments  
Koinonia Comment by: Koinonia - 2008-06-28 05:44
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You're right about 'sat'. There's a terrible habit round here of using sat as present tense, like a poster in my church coffee shop - 'please make sure your children are sat at the table'. I'll have to work hard to get out of that habit.
Dante Comment by: Dante - 2008-06-25 19:04
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This was a fun read. I thought it was going to get a little hotter, but it didn't and the more I think about it, it's alright. Left a little more for our imaginations.

My only crit is that "Sat on his back..." should maybe be "Sitting on his back..." since the rest on the poem is in the present tense.

Thanks for the read, D.
spacedlaw Comment by: spacedlaw - 2008-06-23 03:53
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Fun poetry (it is poetry in a way; it could be even a song).
Glen aka FAD Comment by: Glen aka FAD Online- 2007-12-10 15:35
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Being science has a way to prove a man is top heavy, he had no chance on the ground...


Glen Yumang Manese
1

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By Koinonia

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