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smalltownpoet
mackenzie schmitt
United States, Oregon, Forest Grove

Words: 22
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Intruder

A sound
a crash
a step
the child's heart beats faster

Safety
in the
dark
the child's eyes stay closed

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Comments  
Wildefriend Comment by: Wildefriend Online- 2008-06-14 16:28
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Why not let it all hang out and deal with some awesome poetive description?
Your words are well-chosen but at such a simplistic level??

It's rather like watching a person who is learning to walk.
;=)
DickGentile Comment by: DickGentile - 2008-03-24 20:46
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She'll understand.
lospoemas Comment by: lospoemas - 2007-11-24 14:15
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You like to keep your words to a minimum, don't you? This is great though. You definitely convey the feeling of a scared and hiding child.
1

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By smalltownpoet

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