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Beyond the Border
Beyond the Border.
She gasped. Her breath locked. The face stared back at her. Its eyes glass its features smooth. Holding a hand she gently touched the face. It was cold, like ice clutching her hand.
“Why are you here?” She whispered. The face held no expression as a cold breath left its lips.
“Only to hear your woes.” Her eyes darted back and forth. Her face reflecting back at her.
“Is it time?” She asked hoping to bluff the figure.
“No.” His monotone shook her eyes, they watered. Soon ice would hold her entire face. She waited.
“Then, why are you here?” She said. Her voice trembling. Then as if on clock work the mirrors refection changed. She watched as they resembled a time line of events. Trying to take mental pictures she wondered at them. They passed quickly and only briefly.
“A future history?”
“A history of the future.” His voice had change highs and lows followed the words. Was a human face behind the mask?
“A history of the future.” She repeated.
She gasped, as pained struck her. Looking down, red filed in her eyes. A silver knife, shown her face.
“Yes, and the history is now.” His words blowing her over. She cradled the pain as her knees buckled. Falling to the floor. She yelled out to the man.
“Why are you here?” Her words silenced him. While she laid
dead.
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Comment by: RSK - 2007-11-15 17:57
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Well, writing should not conjure the use of spelling.
But I'll work on it.
You said about the ice part.
Funny, how you said ice can't clutch a hand. But what if I were referring to Ice as cold. The atomoshpere around her was cold. Like a ghost. It's kinda like an intro of a story.
Or the end?
But, thanks for the comment. I suppose I could better detail on what is happing.
How did the end make no sense? |
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2nd line: whose hand? ice cannot clutch a hand.
There are plenty of spelling errors/typos throughout the text which is distracting.
The dialogue could be a bit smoother, but I liked it; you excellently conjured a good atmosphere, with a fantastical air, within a short space of time. I loved the history/future/clock face/what's behind clock face part?
The end made no sense and was very enigmatic. |
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