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Letter to a Friend's Wife
Dear Jane,
I am so sorry I was on the phone with your husband when you came home last night. I had no idea because if I did, I would have cut our conversation short immediately. Why? Because I know how to love and respect the lady in my life.
When Samantha...my gorgeous reason for living, breathing, for waking every new morn...walks into a room, no one else exists. Because they shouldn't. And when she comes home after a hard day of work, I am already at the door. Her car door. To sweep her off her tired feet and carry her across our threshold again and again. Yes, I know it's what you do when you first get married but I do it every day, because even after 18 years it's just like that first magical day with her.
Once inside, I bring her upstairs to our bathroom where I always have a warm bath at perfect temperature ready for her. Because she deserves it. Sure, the 101 rose petals and candles might be overboard but what can I say? I love her.
After I bathe my princess, wash and brush her hair for her, read several chapters aloud from her latest Oprah's choice book while gently feeding her chocolate covered strawberries, I towel her off and let her relax on our bed. I turn on her favorite music because I learned long ago it's how she best enjoys her full body massage. I didn't really want to take the courses at first but when I found out how much being a professionally licensed masseuse would make my Samantha happy, how could I deny her that simple pleasure?
Then I leave her with some crucial alone time so she can release her troubles of the day with a glass of fine wine and the Grey's Anatomy I Tivo'ed for her.
By the time she is ready to come downstairs, I already have our dinner on the table. She doesn't like to wait so I pull her chair out for her and allow Sam to taste each dish first before I sit down to join her. It's usually right after I do the dishes that I like to surprise her with a little something special. A $100 gift card to one of her favorite stores. Autographed copies of Harry Potter books (by the author AND the actors from the movies) Tickets for a night out to the Chippendales for her and 5 of her best friends. Little things I know might make her smile.
I know. I know. Doing this every day of our marriage might seem tedious and maybe even repetitive to some. But instead of asking me ‘how can you do this every day?’ I ask this simple question...don't ALL husbands do this for the ladies in their lives?
Again, I apologize for keeping Joe on the phone when you came home. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go now. It’s Sunday afternoon and nothing but football is on. So Sam and I like to take long walks in the park.
Greg
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Why John,
No need to dig so deep. This is simply how I approach life with my true love and was shocked when I found out others possibly didn't (Kelly? Hmmm?)
I never expected this simple letter I sent out to receive such reaction! Am I that different? Are you telling me a sensitive love stud like Arley doesn't do this and 100 times more for his lady? And what kind of world are we living in where a gorgeous wonderful vision like Katydidnt is single???
Yes, I have heard Kelly complain over and over 'Hey, I bought her a card once' or 'I say thank you when she gets me my supper and fetches me my beer.' but I figured he just didn't know any better. But when it comes to the perfect ladies in our lives, shouldn't we all try a little bit harder every day?
Sometimes I feel you think I'm prone to exaggeration, John...
And yes, the audiences I read this to onstage seem to find this amusing for some odd reason as well. |
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Well, at least I know the "walks in the park" part is true. I wonder what you think of all your comments? I wonder, if you read this before an audience, how you would sound? Would it be your comedic, sarcastic voice? Or would you prefer to sound as if you were whole-heartedly in love to make it even more convinging (and thus sarcastic)?
Of course, I read Kelly's comment and realize there is more beneath the surface of this fantastic piece of writing... so I know there are elements left out, perhaps from conversations (not to mention phone sex).
That being said, what was the purpose of this piece? Yeah, it's humorous. Yeah, it's fantastic. But I keep thinking there's more than meets the eye here, and it's probably a joke played on someone? |
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Wow, now I will never find a man to marry because no one will live up to the idealistic picture I will now see anytime I smell a rose or read Harry Potter... lol.
By the way, how are you??? I haven't been around in a while, but I'm baaack... |
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| Reason behind this letter? Greg likes to give/cause me grief. He's a very cruel guy. Now my wife is always like, "you should be more like Greg" or "You're going to start being more like Greg". I'm just glad the names were changed to protect the innocent. |
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Comment by: - 2007-11-18 04:29
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| i'm not sure whether to take this seriously or not so my face now resembles a half serious half smirk look. Great piece though. This man really must have time on his hands if he can do this every night. does he have a job or does his wife pay for all this unknowingly? haha. If all husbands did that there might be some brutal street contests. |
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