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| Thank you for the last two lines, dark indeed without them, but a little hope at the end. I love the repetition of 'grains of sand'. I can see more than one interpretation -organized religion being one. Hope that's not PI. I don't claim much insight into serious poetry, but I think this is well done, and another one to make me think. Thanks |
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Comment by: mitra - 2007-12-24 23:10
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| This reminded me so much of the state of our world today at the same time, it can apply to a single person and their inner struggles. I like poems that work this way cause it leaves so much room for the reader to enjoy it. |
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| I see not jusr a good:evil theme, the God:Satan of things...I see the educational system...society telling us how to learn, how to write, like some kind of mechanics fix-it book. Good lay out and repetition helps add to the rhythm. Nice piece... |
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Comment by: Falling - 2007-11-30 09:44
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| Destination of unknown... grains of sand, grains of sand... the humankind. I liked your thought process throughout this piece. Devilish! If I were to think of good and evil, all the people that have lived and died and how to describe where one goes, I think I would write a lot like you. Too many to count, also a metaphor for hours, or time. Well thought out. Thank you for sharing. |
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I really like this one, well done :)
Wendy x |
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