Her sweet slumber has been disturbed by the fact that her husband appears to no longer want her as he used to. In the beginning he would find the time to kiss her, cuddle her, to spend time alone with her. He would take time to make love to her everyday - sometimes more then once.
He professed to want to create a child with her out of the love that they felt for one another. It took her three months months to fall pregnant the first time but the joy of pregnancy was to only last twelve weeks before the bleeding started and then one week more before the doctor would confirm her worst fear that she had indeed miscarried.
She was admitted to hospital to remove what was left of the pregnancy that had began to make her sick. He left as she was going into the theatre telling her he wouldn't be long before he would be back and that he loved her very much.
She was out of recovery and in the ward an hour when she finally asked the nurse to telephone him. It took a few attempts before the nurse was finally able to reach him. It then took more time before he finally returned to the hospital.
This was to be the beginning of her loneliness. Of to her, what it felt as if she were losing him.
They waited until she bled again before they tried for another child. She fell pregnant immediately.
It was a joy.
She was thrilled that she was being blessed again. Only it was to be short lived before it ended in another miscarriage.
The day also happened to be the day their neighbours welcomed their third child. They experienced a small complication with their baby who was admitted to the special care ward.
When her husband returned home from work he kissed her, told her to stay in bed to rest and said he was going next door because their neighbour was upset.
She was upset.
She was hurt, for here she was once again feeling the same loneliness and emptiness over another misscarriage yet, he appeared to think it was much better to go to their neighbour whose child was alive, rather then just to cuddle her and reassure her that it was ok and he was still very much in love with her.
The seed was already planted however when the following events watered it.
He had no desire to want her, to make love with her. He also appeared not to want to cuddle her or even touch her in bed, it didn't seem as though he even wanted to be in the same room as her while she was awake. If she was watching television or doing someting in the loungeroom the be would go into the bedroom to watch a movie. Yet if she went into the bedroom or was already there he would leave or not go in until she left or had fallen asleep.
She felt as though her heart would break.
He didn't appear to want her or even want to be around her.
Eventually they made love again, although it didn't feel as though he fully wanted to. Less then a week later they made love a second time.
She was hurt however because in the weeks following he would cuddle her more, bacame more attentive but he always appeared to have an excuse as to why he wouldn't make love with her again.
She hoped that this was just a hurdle along the way.

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