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Clarity
Brian Loeswick
United States, California, San Diego

Words: 65
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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Night Weeds

One night I fell to troubled sleep
And, in darkness, dreamed jumbled things
I descended, 'til finish, proceeding to die
Awoke, salvated, and moved to cry
(I do not mean to be cliché
Ignorance and vanity did persuade)
The pain exacted, the injury wrought
Gave ground to seeds which have been brought
To writhe and grow inside of dreams
Pray troubled mind: come calming scenes

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-03-01 20:20
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"to writhe and grow inside of dreams" ---that's an awesome line.
alien Comment by: alien Online- 2006-02-16 15:27
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There's a hypnotic quality to this. It does invoke a dream-world feeling. It's dark and delicious.

I don;t think it's perfect (I think some small degree of attention needs to be given to the placement of punctuation) but it's certainly very atmospheric and I like the snappy style.

Nice one. :)
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By Clarity

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