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Given the current circumstances
I would be quite content to fall as snow
Powdered innocence; minute and short-lived
Or perhaps simply an erasure of
So ambiguously offensive a background
I will settle in finality at your feet
and you, Effigy ablaze-
Cascade warmth throughout one gentle winter night
Pledge fulfillment with your radiance, and thus
Burn through structure and form
Giving way to essence (although in fleeting methods)
Reduce me to a sappy puddle
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Oh! A sappy puddle! :D
hehehe, sorry to laugh. That is a funny line though :)
Some lovely flowing lines... "to fall as snow powdered innocence"
ymmmmmmm :)
"cascade warmth throughout one gentle winter night"
yes, I also like that :)
I do think there's some words in here that are kind of not adding to the forward movement of the idea and it could probably be whittled down a bit more yet (but I am in a minimalist phase right now) so that every single word resonates strongly against the purpose of the piece.
Apart from that, good work.
I'm gonna stop mauling all your poems now ;)
Thanks - I'll look out for you, you're a good read - an interesting poet :)
