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1980
1980
I can’t think clearly,
my mind is shrouded
with mists of confusion.
I can’t think clearly,
my mind is a place
that is filled with illusion.
Nowhere to run –
Nowhere to hide –
No way to get through
to the other side.
No-one to relate to,
No-one to know;
the truth is hidden –
there’s nothing to show.
I can’t think clearly,
my mind is surrounded
by the lies
they
have
told me.
© Abi C.
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Comment by: - 2007-11-24 09:10
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| I can remember some of 1980 leaving me feel like this. I liked this piece. It is an interesting perspective. You want to keep reading to see where it goes. |
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Something happened that struck you on this 1980 year and it's still a dark point to you, that's clear.
I like how you tell of the feelings not telling of the events. |
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Comment by: - 2007-11-22 23:47
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Was 1980 like this?
The poetry flows nicely in a block. The lines are short and sharp and the final four words are spaced to make us pause over their delivery.
The subject matter is rather bleak, with little hope present, but we are not told too much in the detail. This is good as we are left wondering over the who and why of the poem. The tone of the words gives us a feeling of panic and despair, anger at the lies and the situation currently experienced.
Overall a tight work that intrigues the reader. The words are simple and effectively put.
Thank you for the read
Greta. |
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Comment by: drchase - 2007-11-22 18:23
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| i like the simplicity in the choose of words but the depth behind the message and u say ur nervous of me...ptsh...good stuff |
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