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Scars
We sat talking and thinking for hours
Wasting the day away
But thinking about you just makes her skies turn grey
She always wants what it seems like she’ll never get
And that still makes her want it more but yet
She says that the scars on her arms
They remind her of you
And all the things you used to do
She says you’re the one who’s made her this way
And yet you’re also the one who takes the pain away
She doesn’t understand how you helped her and hurt her too
But she still misses you
And all the things you do
You’re not the person she thought you were
When she looked inside she wasn’t too shocked to find
that you made her proud,
And disappointed her too
How you do the things you do,
She has no clue
But she knows that while everything you do has a
tremendous effect on her,
She has no effect whatsoever on you
She’s giving up
Giving up on you
And wondering what would happen if you knew the way she
felt about you
So don’t let her give up
But instead,
Help her, and hold her, carry her through
Because she misses those things that you used to do
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Comment by: Dakota - 2007-12-04 06:06
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So tender and compassionate. Really enjoyed reading your work.
I liked the repetition and the feel, the natural unconciousness
- thanks. I will check out more of your work. |
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| Very good, especially coming from a 13 year old. If I might make a suggestion: the very first line starts with "We", which denotes that the author is the other person besides the male. But after this line, the two people involved are referred to as "she" and "you". Since this sudden change made me re-read the first part over again, you may wish to change the word "We" to "They" to keep it in line with the rest of the poem. Thank you for sharing this one! |
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| From a 13 yr old this was very powerful. I have read poems from adults who have had college who couldn't write this good. Very nice, very tragic, and very powerful! |
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Comment by: - 2007-11-24 09:06
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| I remember the days like these...I liked this poem. Nice work. |
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| This struck me as quite poignant, the voice coming through quietly and clearly. Well penned ! Keep writing, Abi. |
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