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amber3212
Amber M
United States

Words: 220
Access: Public
Comments: 7

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Scars

We sat talking and thinking for hours

Wasting the day away

But thinking about you just makes her skies turn grey

She always wants what it seems like she’ll never get

And that still makes her want it more but yet

She says that the scars on her arms

They remind her of you

And all the things you used to do

She says you’re the one who’s made her this way

And yet you’re also the one who takes the pain away

She doesn’t understand how you helped her and hurt her too

But she still misses you

And all the things you do

You’re not the person she thought you were

When she looked inside she wasn’t too shocked to find

that you made her proud,

And disappointed her too

How you do the things you do,

She has no clue

But she knows that while everything you do has a

tremendous effect on her,

She has no effect whatsoever on you

She’s giving up

Giving up on you

And wondering what would happen if you knew the way she

felt about you

So don’t let her give up

But instead,

Help her, and hold her, carry her through

Because she misses those things that you used to do

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Comments  
Dakota Comment by: Dakota - 2007-12-04 06:06
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So tender and compassionate. Really enjoyed reading your work.
I liked the repetition and the feel, the natural unconciousness
- thanks. I will check out more of your work.
brandoncintron Comment by: brandoncintron - 2007-11-29 10:15
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Very good, especially coming from a 13 year old. If I might make a suggestion: the very first line starts with "We", which denotes that the author is the other person besides the male. But after this line, the two people involved are referred to as "she" and "you". Since this sudden change made me re-read the first part over again, you may wish to change the word "We" to "They" to keep it in line with the rest of the poem. Thank you for sharing this one!
Shadowdancer Comment by: Shadowdancer - 2007-11-24 21:14
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From a 13 yr old this was very powerful. I have read poems from adults who have had college who couldn't write this good. Very nice, very tragic, and very powerful!
Comment by: - 2007-11-24 09:06
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I remember the days like these...I liked this poem. Nice work.
Abi Corzo Comment by: Abi Corzo - 2007-11-22 05:16
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This struck me as quite poignant, the voice coming through quietly and clearly. Well penned ! Keep writing, Abi.
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By amber3212

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