Island (Wee Stories #19)
Thomas recalled his father as he unwrapped the bongo from its blanket. He too had been a Drum Prophet; now Thomas carried on the tradition, freeing the song-spirits above ground and below. He tapped a response to the impatient buzz of the tracks, to the great wind that chased each passing train.
"Go back to the island," shouted a woman across the platform.
He stopped, puzzled. This city was the only island he'd ever seen.
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| Thanks, everyone: Karen, Rebecca, Louise, Lucy, Rosie. I'm glad the traditional + modern idea worked in this piece. |
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| What is it with that racism you still get everywhere? Great way to tackle it. And lovely image, of the drumming and the trains - the traditional with the modern. |
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Comment by: lucy - 2007-11-25 07:58
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| I love it when you can actually see where the characters are, I almost feel his pain and befuddlement at the ladies reaction. The drum and description of a bit of his background, tradition, you see that less and less often these days. super |
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Comment by: Louise - 2007-11-22 18:42
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| I like this, it starts off very mystical and it has an ability to seem very intimate and yet at the same time very open with the references to nature. The speech brings us, alongwith the character back to reality with a crash and its really interesting to see how your work shows us that you can have other worlds within our own, without ever leaving our homes. Very thought provoking indeed |
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I like both your stories here. Good stuff. Might the woman shout 'go back to your island'?
Cutting the title wee stories bit would bring your wordcount down without cutting the story. |
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