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The Swimmer: Challenge #19 ODD
Everyday the old man trudges up the hill to contemplate the ocean.
Mama asks, ‘Why do you watch the ocean, Papa?’
Papa smiles and continues on his way.
The wave comes on Christmas morning.
Many find safety on the hill, but not the old man.
A local boy says, ‘He went for a swim.’
The following day they find Papa’s body, broken on the rocks, still smiling.
The journalist frowns, ‘Odd, isn’t it.’
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| Your words sing! |
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soft and poignant, like a song. "'He went for a swim.'" chilling, but so fitting.
well done. |
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Comment by: Stratus - 2007-11-23 10:05
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Nice resonant piece. Well written, too. Enough well chosen information to allow the piece to spoke out into its larger, more poignant picture.
Works nice as a micro, but has a lot of promise for a flash of perhaps 400 WC.
Nice work, Louis.
Stratus- |
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Comment by: Nora Online- 2007-11-23 09:44
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| I second bennyreed's comment. This is a perfectly wrought and beautiful little piece. Thank you for the lovely story. |
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I like this for its ambiguity. Especially -'Papa smiles and continues on his way.'
Lovely story. |
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