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Island
"I am so bored," he said softly to himself. He was sitting alone underneath a coconut tree for the shade. His lids slowly started to descend across his tired hazel eyes. He gave a slight yawn and gradually fell off to sleep from exhaustion.
Suddenly, he was awakened by a noise. "Sir, your massage is ready."
"Ah, splendid. And have room service send me one of those tropical drinks with the little umbrella in it."
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| I like this. I have to agree with "Audiogeist" about the wording in sentence 2. |
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| I think awoken needs to be changed to awakened. But that may just be me. *Added: Yeah, that looks alot better. |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-11-23 06:42
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Aw, poor wee lamb, exhausted from all that lounging around, being fed, watered and massaged.
Nice misdirect, and an ending that made me smile.
Thanks for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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Ahh...this is what an Island should be like! Nope, i'd not be bored at all!!
One point:
'He was sitting alone in the shade of a coconut tree.' - won't change your word count.. |
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