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Accoustic Rain
Speak to me in your
acoustic tongue
made of woodwinds
while I coil around
your velvet brass,
an oboe
of interludes
kiss me as the
wind carries
your bassoon
in the seams of
our distance clarinets
the sky is witness
to our rhapsody
the stars
dance to
your tenor, my allegretto
drops of impending bliss
imminent rain
an overture
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Comment by: sadon Online- 2008-03-14 13:54
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| I love the title most of all,the title itself has wonderful poetry in it. thanks for sharing |
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| I like how you can take things that is unknown to most, I myself do not know much about music, and then turn it into something tangible. Place it in a context that one can understand and appreciate. There is just once word that bothered me in the whole poem and that is 'distance' in line 12. Would 'distant' not make the flow a little easier? Lovely work as usual. |
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| As usual, your work is stellar. I did think that the last two lines of Stanza 2 didn't really mesh perfectly with the first two lines of Stanza one...but I love the 'brass coils' so much, I don't really care. You always have such beauty in your work...lovely phrases. |
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| I love the conceit used with such strong underlying romantic tension. The musical terminology seems really effective, taking on romantic and sexual meaning, making reality and nature very celestial. Its short but works well, and I liked the editing choices as well. |
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