Odd
“… Or even? It hardly matters,” she said, rolling her sleeves. She withdrew the first syringe of brown fluid from a large bag.
“Odd,” co-workers whispered. Meaning her clothes or her quiet work habits? It hardly mattered.
The needle slid through the weather-stripping of the car in space two and she distributed the contents evenly over the interior. She skipped a space. The window was open. What an astounding stench.
Today she supposed she was even.
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| A very imaginative idea for a story. No wonder Karen's having trouble picking a winner. This is great stuff. |
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| Ok, co-worker added. Also, I changed "smell" to "stench" to reinforce that the last "even" includes revenge. |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-11-27 07:34
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| Ah - okay, yes, that would be huge help. |
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Oh Darn. I guess this is a case of trying to be a little too subtle. I meant to imply that the co-workers were singling her out as being odd, but I only gave you the "quiet work habits" to figure that out. Not enough obviously. I could change the "they" to "co-workers". Would that be better?
The rest was just having fun (and making her quirky) by playing on the double meanings of odd and even. |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-11-27 05:22
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Hmmm... the end implies she's getting even with someone. But who whispered? Voices in her head?
'Odd or even?' is the first question, they whisper 'odd' but she chooses the car in space two, an even number - contrariness?
Oh, hell - I don't know - you've confused me, but that's easily done.
Cheers
Karen |
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