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Stop
What happens when it stops?
Nothing ends, feelings still strong
I will return to the shops
Something feels right, a lot feels wrong.
I will tell you what happens
I will try, try to replace you
I will try to make amends
I thought that this was all true.
And I will move on
Your power over me, is not so
I will return to the shops
And to the dancefloor
And I will be me again!
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| Good flow, strong statement! Nice work. |
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| I like how you question the object of your poem.The imagery is, I think, subtle yet effective. "And I will be me again" love it! |
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| I agree with MaggieMay. The opening is seductive and it ends just the way it should. |
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Very nice, it flows very well, and the rhymes are not forced at all.
It's great. It seems like what you are saying that you had trouble with people before, and you just wanted to get that all behind you, and move on. It's something we can all relate to! |
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I like how your writings are all centered around questions. It's a very appealing motif, and obviously leads to inspired writing, as you demonstrate. I believe that when we write, we try to answer the questions we ask ourselves, but can never quite find the words to explain.
Keep up the good work. |
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