writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
OilsandSyntax
Nikki Niswonger
United States, Ohio

Words: 20
Access: Public
Comments: 5

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Things that end up in the trash and things that don't.

My Darling,
Don't waste your money
on greeting cards.
Celebrate my Birthday
spending time
designing diction just for me.

Want to comment on this Prose?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Prose and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
kjfloyd119 Comment by: kjfloyd119 - 2007-11-28 12:39
Add to Readers
      
Very good, only recommendation I can make is reconsider the words "commemorate" and "syntax," they seem a little stiff.
bloomingwood Comment by: bloomingwood - 2007-11-28 07:24
Add to Readers
      
Very, very true.
I like the title. You don't need to explain the poem because it's all written simply in the title.
Awesome.
davidblaine Comment by: davidblaine - 2007-11-27 05:33
Add to Readers
      
I like this most of all because of the title. Too many writers don't stop to think of a good title for their work. Hmm, with the money he save's stiffing American Greetings, he can afford a little sin tax, eh?
Thunderpen Comment by: Thunderpen - 2007-11-26 17:29
Add to Readers
      
Simple truth.
Like music, words are better live.
The best poetry I've created comes in conversation with a friend. I can feel how to pull and twist it when it's live. Mary might say, "That's good. Write it." But I cannot. It's gone. Snowman gems.
Sorry, not telling crit.
(It's garbage day. Shhh... don't tell Hallmark.)
hx Comment by: hx - 2007-11-26 10:48
Add to Readers
      
Love this! 'Creating syntax' is a perfect way to describe it (and I guess you'd say, a nice creation of syntax). I like the title, too.

Sorry, no crits. I like this just the way it is. Keep it up!
1

Sponsored Ads


By OilsandSyntax

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S