writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
antunes
Ana C. Antunes
Brazil, Santos (My treasured Island)

Words: 66
Access: Public
Comments: 2

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




A Tit for Tat

You told me I was too short and flat,
And now you are out-of-date:
I became a model while I got my mat.
You told me I was too short and flat,
Now you asked me out to hear a rat-a-tat,
Like me saying that´s a little too late.
You told me I was too short and flat,
And now you are out of date!

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Comment by: - 2007-12-19 16:13
Add to Readers
      
I also didn't listen to my dad when he told me how beautiful the dorky girls would be. But I was dorky too so it didn't matter.
alien Comment by: alien - 2007-11-30 02:38
Add to Readers
      
I can't say I really understood what this poem was about. There is obviously a bitterness in here but I think it's too well encrypted to mean much to anyone else.

Plus, your metre was all over the place - each line should be of the same length and meter, even if you use an alternative to iambic tetrameter, they should all be the same.

Anyway - thanks for entering and look out for the next challenge!
1

Sponsored Ads


By antunes

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S