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Demons of the Head
Shuffling through the shadows
Of hating as they overflow;
Always I find myself alone,
(But)
Now there's comfort in what I've known
How come I still need a home?
Could that deflect the fears that always come?
Please exorcise me, set the demons free.
With the power of a Christ I never see.
Please exorcise me, set the demons free.
With the power of a Christ I loathe to see.
These burdens building in my soul,
I need them out, I need control
Days pass by, doing what they do,
Tormenting and forcing me to
An anger I can always find anew.
Now I’ve lost touch with what I knew.
My world has lost its muse,
Amongst the drones I painfully amuse.
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| This sounds like music and could be turned into a song...Wonderful Job.... |
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I am not sure why but reading his it came across more as a song than anything else. So much so by the end i was singing in my head accompanied by music (guitar, bass, drums) all of which had the aura of a live gig.
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Comment by: frayed - 2007-11-30 20:54
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| Yes the irony is inteded, as a paradozical iony. You actually can be affected by things you don't believe in, by doubting your resolve through communal doubt. |
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Comment by: ashabee - 2007-11-30 08:16
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| hmm. there is some annoying irony with the whole religion reference. I'm not sure if you meant for it to be ironic, but you ask for an excorcism here in this selection but also state that you loathe some form of proof that God has the power to help you. Just for some fodder, you can't be affected by any thing you don't believe in. [Just a constructive analysis.] |
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Comment by: frayed - 2007-11-30 00:45
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| Thank you both. I see some reason to your confusion 'Penned'. there's two variation which i toy with, and orignally i hadthe opening line "Sifting through the shadows" which sounds better and perhaps conveys the image better, but it creates an imperfect rhyme, however poetry is often filled with little imperfections isn't it? just like nature i suppose. i think i'll change it back, and also alter the second line to be more sensible if not as rhythmic, to "Of hatred as they overflow" |
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