Kelly Short and Brian Cranston

You know when there’s an event where a whole lot of things are intricately connected but their basis is unfounded? I have this friend, Kelly Short. And I have a physics teacher, Mr. Brian Cranston. I’ll start with Kelly.
Kelly Short has long legs, but a short torso, so she still appears to be a short gal at first glance. I find her long legs to be misleading. We jokingly call her “Short Torso.” She also has short blonde hair and a distinctive voice. Anyway, one day she claims to have met my sister. I have no sister. She claims that my “sister” was buying croissants when they started chatting, and our school was mentioned, and then I was mentioned, and she said, “Oh, that’s my brother!” Since then, we’ve speculated that her name was Tits Begonia and she had homeroom on the third floor of our school (our school has only two floors).
Then, by completely unrelated events, I noticed a girl where I work named Ashley Short. She too has short blond hair, a voice like Kelly’s, long legs, and a short torso. Kelly claims that this isn’t her sister. But how many people have the last name “Short,” long legs, short blonde hair, and a short torso? In any case, the two aren’t related.
So, by events that have nothing to do with each other, we each came to suspect each other of having a sister, where neither of us really do. Weird, isn’t it?
Now, my chemistry teacher is named Brian Cranston. Note that there’s also an actor named Bryan Cranston. And, as is known, the actor Jon Voight spells his name j-o-n. On the episode of Seinfeld that both Bryan Cranston and Jon Voight were in, the character George (Jason Alexander) was sold a car that was supposed to have been owned by Jon Voight, and he found a pencil with bite marks on it. By coincidence, the character Kramer (Michael Richards) was bitten by the Jon Voight.
Bryan Cranston, playing a dentist, matched the bite marks and determined that the pencil bites weren’t Jon Voight’s, but rather John Voight’s, who was a dentist friend of his. So, we end up with two Cranstons (Bryan and Brian), and two Voights (Jon and John). Isn’t it weird?
So, it’s my belief that one day, Brian Cranston will bite Jon Voight, and Tits Begonia and Ashley Short will be the witnesses to the court trial. These are the thoughts that separate me from the crowd.

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