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We All Lose
We ran. Our soft feet pounded supple ground.
The sweet, tall grass swayed with a warm, low breath
and daisies danced to cicada music.
We laughed. Our immature hands stretched to grasp
the sun’s tender rays. Those bubbles of trust,
of worship freely drifted from our tongues.
You threw me down playfully among the
wet grass, and the weeds with the earthworms.
The lustful shades of green and brown stained me.
My legs weren’t meant to smile. I needed more
time, more patience, but we had a lapse of
reason and let the virtue of the day sweep
us towards each other with fervent holds.
The wildflowers turned their bashful heads away.
I felt the need to ease those shy flowers,
to love them more than you. To watch their love
die as pedals wilt instead of hard eyes.
We stared. Our mistake advanced, like cancer.
It spread out and absorbed into the dirt,
tainted the quiet, simple day; consumed
the sapphire sky, and dimmed the blond sun.
Our bliss faded like clouds, dissipated
and receded into the filth of us.
Our palms had dirt on them and no matter
how hard I scrubbed the blood wouldn’t come off.
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Comment by: Dakota - 2007-12-02 15:47
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'My legs weren't mean't to smile', is totally beautiful - the man said it below.
Totally beautiful.
'Those bubbles of trust, of worship freely drifted from our tongues'.
I so love your use of language - the way you set the scene. I admire your honesty and your openess.
Such a shame to think of the experience as filth though - sounds beautiful to me. Shame is the cancer instilled by religion - it has no place in the natural world, well, it does inspire great poetry obviously...x |
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Comment by: - 2007-12-01 22:21
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| great poem |
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Comment by: dannykurl Online- 2007-12-01 03:11
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good-bye innocence; good-bye virginity!
"my legs weren't meant to smile" is beautiful
the whole thing is beautiful
great poem |
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| Another awesome one, I think the use of nature in your poetry compliments your style very well. I also like the way you develop cadence around and between unique punctuation/editing choices. I especially like here how you use natural surroundings to personify youth and innocence, and then the "mistake" and the effects of its consummation. You really captured the way a moment, and its subsequent experience, can interpret surroundings. Oh and I like your new picture better, much more expressive. |
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