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Louise
Louise Davidson
United Kingdom, Belfast

Words: 99
Access: Public
Comments: 13

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Dead Lucky

“You’re dead lucky to be out of all that,” said the angel. “Pardon the expression.”

Tom blinked. The fire still raged below them. He had taken sleeping pills and hadn’t woken up in time.

“But,” he began. “My wife...”

“Not really with her mother. She and her lover are at the Motel Six on Evergreen.”

Tom foundered. “My kids...”

“Doing drugs and drinking as we speak,” smiled the angel.

“Well, my job then!”

“You were fired.”

Tom glared defiantly. “There was always my dog.”

“Who do you think accidentally set fire to your house?” The angel replied.

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Comments  
pinzerino Comment by: pinzerino - 2008-05-17 11:07
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haha, very good, made me laugh :)
vlclasby Comment by: vlclasby - 2008-01-20 19:21
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Great little story. I loved the idea of an angel making a pun.
No wonder the poor guy took sleeping pills. Doesn't sound like he had much to live for.
half debauched Comment by: half debauched - 2007-12-28 16:47
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i wrote a comic along the same lines as this.
you're really good at suggesting things subtly. i like you.
karjon Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-12-06 05:03
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Aw - poor guy - and that angel seems to be taking way too much pleasure in its work. Good fun, Louise.

One crit - 'The angel replied' is a speech tag, so it should be 'the'.

Thanks for the read and the laughs.

Cheers

Karen
Audiogeist Comment by: Audiogeist - 2007-12-05 04:22
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lmao! Ahh..talk about a bad day!

Brilliant! Especially like - Tom glared defiantly. “There was always my dog.”
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