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The Penny Dropped--Wee Challenge 20
I cleared the table and scraped the almost untouched pot-roast from his plate.
Hot, soapy water began the job of breaking down my skin. I scrubbed the pan hard. I thought about how easy it would be, just dialing for pizza delivery every night for the rest of my life.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked.
I smiled a bit and shook my head.
"Penny for your thoughts," he teased, holding a tarnished coin above the soapy water. He dropped it. I felt it swirl past my hand and heard the faint click as it landed on the sink bottom.
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Comment by: Apollo Online- 2008-01-09 00:43
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| Perfect. You definitely captured the "penny for your thoughts" concept. Not only that but like how it seems slightly aggressive when he drops it in the water . It sounds like the great beginning for a short story. Once again, I have to admit, you're writing rocks... oops your writing rocks ;) |
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Comment by: Nora Online- 2007-12-08 18:41
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Thanks, Ash. I'm sure this little scene has been played out in gazillions of households across the world...
Thanks for reading, and I agree. Click or clink--it's all good. |
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| I can see this one unfurling as I read it; excellent depiction of a relatable, domestic scene: and what's wrong with pizza ?! This was really good-- the 'click' or 'clink' debate is all a bit academic really-- lol Ash :D |
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| Lo the sud-filled wishing well...a very clever and evocative story, but i'd disagree about changing 'click' to 'clink' as with the water the 'clink' would be muffled to a 'click', i think |
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Comment by: Nora Online- 2007-12-06 11:01
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Just so it's clear: while my husband WOULD rather eat pizza for the rest of his life, he'd eat that pot-roast and say it was good. Even if it wasn't. Also, he would NEVER drop a penny in the sink, because it might go down the drain and he'd have to fix it.
Oh, and he knows waaaaay better than to ask me what I'm thinking. Because I might tell him. And that's never good!
(My sink is old and porcelain, so a penny would say "click" and not "clink"--but I appreciate the feedback, as always.) |
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