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citydweller
j. steinhoff
United States, NY, Brooklyn

Words: 100
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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Dead Lucky (Wee Stories #20)

Grinning, the hostess churned the cloud of plastic balls. Kay watched the television screen, imagining the static in the chamber, the balls crackling like thunder. They dropped out one by one, like hail pellets, each printed with a shiny number.

Twenty-one, thirty-four, sixty-seven, forty-three, sixteen... She scanned her ticket backwards and forwards, holding her breath as the final ball emerged.

The electricity flickered, and she felt a jolt as her head hit the tile. Blood trickled from her lips as she tried to clutch the ticket, her passport to the good life, but her hands were no longer her own.

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Comments  
icy Comment by: icy - 2007-12-16 13:15
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Nice take on the title. My heart goes out to that poor woman - a perfect example of Murphy's Law! Very tight writing.
citydweller Comment by: citydweller - 2007-12-09 09:15
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Thank you for your feedback, Gareth and Ash.

Have a lovely weekend!
Ash19640 Comment by: Ash19640 - 2007-12-08 18:44
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Wow-- your spin on 'dead lucky' still has me smiling and your description of the lottery was really so 'winning' I never saw the end coming, so to speak. Ah, the indifferent universe. Ash :)
GarethCB Comment by: GarethCB - 2007-12-08 01:24
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Lots of well-described images here. The cloud of plastic balls. The balls dropping out like hail pellets. The ticket being her passport to the good life. A great flash story.
citydweller Comment by: citydweller - 2007-12-07 06:59
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Thank you very much, Arley, Wanda and Karen.

I changed "the" to "they."

Looking forward to reading your pieces as well.

~J.
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